Each of us receives an intangible gift when we leave school — it is the lifetime bonding with batchmates, teachers and the institution itself. We are reminded of this gift especially at reunions. Reunions are unique affairs. Everybody attending a reunion is in a celebratory mood yet there is an underlying tinge of a sense of loss. In spite of hearty attempts to ‘bring back yesterday’, people realise that the past cannot be really reclaimed. But how wonderful it is to reconnect.
Recently, I attended two high school reunions as a teacher, a 25th one and a 40th one. Widely evident at both were warm embraces, squeals of delight and jubilant expressions of recognition. Former colleagues were spotted wearing the badges of age and yet managing to look like their younger selves. Some of our students of yesteryear were looking glamorous and svelte while others were battling middle-age woes. But soon all of them started behaving and even looking like teenage schoolgirls.
Teachers were repeatedly reassured that they ‘hadn’t changed one bit’. “You look just the same!” students kept exclaiming, desperately wanting to bring back their schooldays. A popular tribute was, “What I am today is because of you!”. As I talked to the alums around me, I discovered that a self-effacing, unremarkable student had made a big name for herself. I suddenly felt inadequate for having failed to recognise the potential of certain students when they were in school.
It is indeed endearing that many of these attendees have travelled long distances from different parts of India and overseas to be present on this occasion. For over a year, the organisers had spent time and effort to make this event a success. An ‘assembly’ had been organised, complete with prayers, hymns and speeches and the school song was duly sung — lustily if not tunefully. The principal who was younger than the 40th-year students, gave a stirring speech, stating how close she felt to them and how much she learnt about the school from each reunion. Like most other principals, she talked about the greatness of her institution and how all the students who had graduated from it did their alma mater proud “by always keeping the school flag flying high”.
Students talked about shared experiences and expressed their gratitude to their old teachers and their school for the rich education and experience they had received. The teachers, in turn, recalled amusing episodes involving some of the students present. The morning over, a lavish lunch was spread for students and teachers. The students had evening programmes planned and since they were coming together after so many years, they had arranged fun-filled activities over two or three days.
These rituals are repeated periodically but every time they are enjoyed in a unique way. As we relive those days of carefree fun and laughter, the song that keeps playing in my mind is, “Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end...” Admittedly, reunions are also poignant because the absences are so loud and conspicuous. So many of my erstwhile colleagues are no more and it is heartbreaking when the names of students who have passed on are read out.
Last month, I had a ‘reunion’ with a former colleague who was visiting Calcutta after some decades. She was extremely upset to find that the old gracefulness and elegance of the city of her birth had all but vanished. Now a grandmother of five, she looked different from the time that we worked together. But miraculously, my friend of old reappeared before me in no time and conversation flowed effortlessly. This, however, does not happen with all. Sometimes, we discover that one of us has moved on while the other has remained stuck in a time warp.
Notwithstanding the grey side of reunions, they are undoubtedly sources of great pleasure. Today, social media further strengthens the astonishingly strong bonds that batchmates have forged over the years. The great alumni network is robust and the ‘school connect’ remains intact.
Many of us realise with gratitude that the unparalleled support system that our respective schools gifted to students, has served us well — in our youth, through middle-age and into old age.
Devi Kar is director, Modern High School for Girls, Calcutta