Pakistani politicians’ words of bravado are being punctured online by killer humour from their countrymen.
Bilawal Bhutto-Zardari, whose grandfather Zulfiqar and mother, Benazir, had warned of 1,000 years of war with India, fired from the lip on Delhi’s decision to suspend the Indus Waters Treaty following the Pahalgam attack, for which India has blamed Pakistan-based terrorist outfits.
“India has accused Pakistan of the Pahalgam incident, with Modi making false allegations to conceal his own weaknesses and deceive his people. He has unilaterally decided to suspend the Indus Waters Treaty, under which India had acknowledged that the Indus belongs to Pakistan. Standing here in Sukkur by the Indus, I want to tell India that the Indus is ours and will remain ours. Either water will flow in this Indus, or their blood will,” Bilawal thundered.
Pakistan's Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif emphasised that his country's forces remain "fully capable and prepared to defend the country's sovereignty and its territorial integrity against any misadventure as clearly demonstrated by its measured yet resolute response to India's reckless incursion in February 2019".
Online however, Pakistanis appeared more resigned to the crises unfolding within their own borders — shortages of water, gas, and opportunity. For them, the idea of war seems almost absurd when day-to-day survival already feels like a battle.
And so, they do what they’ve grown used to doing: laughing at the chaos, even as their leaders warn of darker days ahead.
One user wrote: "The funniest s**t is, there is absolutely nothing India can threaten us with that we aren’t already suffering from at the hands of our govt. Pani rok loge? Wese hi nahi aata. Maar dou ge? Humari govt maar hi rahi hai. Lahore le lou ge? Le lo adhay ghantay baad khud wapis ker jaoge [Will you stop our water? It doesn't come anyway. Will you kill us? Our own government is already doing that. Take Lahore? Take it — you’ll return it yourself after half an hour]."
Another quipped about the daily gas shortages: "Jung karni ho to 9 baje se pehle karlena 9:15 per gas chali jati hai hamari [If you want to wage war, do it before 9 — our gas supply goes off by 9:15]."
Yet another person shared a photo of someone showering, captioned: "India, give water, soap has gone into my eyes."
One user joked: "If any woman wants to confess her love to me before the war, I won’t say no."
The humour continued, with one saying: "War is about to break out, and the tailor still hasn’t stitched my suit", prompting a reply: “What’s the point of wearing a new suit, it’ll get ruined in the dust of bomb blasts.”