Replacing the terms “good” and “bad” touch with “safe” and “unsafe” touch could be crucial in protecting children from internalising guilt and shame in cases of sexual abuse — this was a key message shared at a recent workshop on child safety and personal protection.
The choice of vocabulary plays a vital role in how children process abuse, said
experts at the event.
Manjeer Mukherjee, director of strategy at Arpan, a Mumbai-based NGO working to prevent child sexual abuse, explained why language matters: “When organisations use the terminology of good or bad touch, children internalise those labels. If they receive an unsafe touch and identify it as a bad touch, they may start believing that they are bad too. This intensifies the guilt.”
Prevention and healing
The two-day workshop, Suraksha, was organised by Racsha (Rise Against Child Sexual Harm and Abuse) in collaboration with Arpan in early September. It focused on personal safety education, first-level intervention strategies, and counselling skills for helping children heal from abuse.
Attended by teachers, clinical psychologists, counsellors, special educators, and social workers, the workshop aimed to build both awareness and skills to prevent abuse and support survivors.
A session at the two-day workshop
Sreemoyee Sen Ram, initiator of Racsha, underscored the need for systemic change. “Sexuality education, which includes safe and unsafe touch and child sexual abuse, must be part of the school curriculum. NGOs working at the grassroots are not enough,” she said.
Currently, only some private schools include these topics, and often informally.
Safe, not scared
One of Arpan’s strategies is its personal safety guidelines, designed to help children identify safe and unsafe situations. “We tell children that nobody is allowed to touch, look at, or talk about their private parts, except to keep them clean and healthy, except parents or caregivers,” Mukherjee said.
But the education isn’t just about warning against unsafe touch. “We also talk about safe touch — touch that makes them feel happy, loved, and secure. It’s crucial for their development and connection with others,” she said.
Children are taught to trust their instincts: if a touch makes them feel uncomfortable or confused, it is unsafe, regardless of who it comes from.
Overcoming taboos
A major barrier to effective communication about abuse is the hesitation adults feel about discussing private parts. “We teach children names of body parts like hands, legs, and mouth, but avoid naming private parts. That creates confusion,” said a participating teacher.
Experts at the workshop advocated using correct anatomical terms rather than made-up names. “If a child is abused, they need to be able to clearly describe what happened,” the teacher said.
Experts from Arpan also said when teaching about body parts in a group setting, charts should be used instead of asking children to be models.
Protection policies
Sen Ram emphasised the importance of using language appropriate for a child’s age
and understanding.
“For children under five, instead of saying ‘child sexual abuse,’ we talk about ‘personal safety education’ to avoid overwhelming them. Terms like sex and sexuality may be unfamiliar or intimidating at that age,” she said.
“Every school and organisation should have a child protection policy. It gives professionals a framework to act within when an allegation arises.”
Racsha works with schools and organisations to help them draft and implement such policies.