At some point in the utter nonsense of a film called Pati Patni Aur Woh Do — calling it a comedy would be an insult to the genre — a character tells another: “Bakloli ki pratiyogita ho toh kirtimaan honge aap”. In language that you and I would perhaps understand (and, of course, I had to Google this), it means that when it comes to foolishness or clownery, the person addressed would win a competition hands down.
How we wish Pati Patni Aur Woh Do was about clownery, which is an art in itself. But art, craft, skill, storytelling and everything in between is grossly missing in this Mudassar Aziz-directed film which follows the filmmaker’s own Pati Patni Aur Woh, released in 2019, starring Ananya Panday and Bhumi Pednekar, which, in many ways, benefited from Kartik Aaryan’s goofy charm (and we can’t really believe we are writing this).
Pati Patni Aur Woh Do — as is evident from its title — introduces a fourth angle in what is already an unnecessary triangle — and is frontlined by Ayushmann Khurrana, who looks like he has walked straight out of the sets of Article 15 into a film which is several notches lower, if any comparison can even be made. A forest range officer in Prayagraj, who Tarzan-style (and lousy CGI-aided), nets a tiger with his bare hands, Prajapati Pandey — no Chulbul Pandey this, despite the uniform — throws in some gibberish about endangered tortoises and dangerous wolves — but we see him doing no work. His wife Aparna (Wamiqa Gabbi) is a journalist you won’t find anywhere because such a species doesn’t exist. Case in point: she has a wall of ‘future achievements’ in her living room — including her face plastered on a Forbes cover — and has been promised her “own channel” by a politician if she can uncover a scandalous piece of gossip: the “low caste” girl his son has been having an affair with.
Casteism, minority religions, homosexuals, non-vegetarians... no one is spared here. Loose talk is bandied about in the garb of evoking laughs, but none of it is remotely funny. True, this is not the kind of film that one expects much from, but then again, where is the comedy?
The other two women in the mix include Nilofer (Rakul Preet Singh), Prajapati’s colleague, whose wardrobe indicates she has never seen a forest in her life, let alone stepped into one. The other is his friend Chanchal (Sara Ali Khan), the woman being “investigated” by his wife, who coaxes Prajapati into pretending to have an “affair” with her so that she can throw the politician (one can only feel sorry for Tigmanshu Dhulia) and his cronies off her trail and can unite with her lover — called Sunny, Bobby or whatever — played by a terribly bland Vishal Vashishtha.
Pati Patni Aur Woh Do is a comedy of errors — “errors” being the operative word here — that hurtles from one unwatchable scene to another, this being the kind of film where dialogues are not delivered but shouted out. A character, at some point, even “screams”: “Chilla kyun rahein ho?” If this was a better film, we would think it was aiming to be meta. And does Ayushmann’s contract stipulate that he say “ayushman bhava” at least once in a film?
With characters and circumstances caricaturised to the point of the viewer being dangerously close to bursting an artery and more, the Priyadarshan-styled climax is easily the “crowning glory” — it involves a lousily rendered “bhediya” in the backseat of a car. And no, it doesn’t turn into Varun Dhawan.
While not much can be said (or expected) about the trio of heroines that dot Pati Patni Aur Woh Do, it really is a shame watching Ayushmann succumb to tripe like this. We hope good sense prevails. And soon.
What we looked forward to the most during the 117 minutes we spent in the audi tolerating Pati Patni Aur Woh Do? The Lux Cozi and Pynk leggings ads. At least our ears were spared the assault for those few minutes.
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