Kirti Kulhari has always been an oasis of calm in the middle of chaos. The actor starts off this conversation in her trademark warm manner, sharing what went into her Diwali celebrations this year and enquiring how I spent mine. “I had a quiet dinner at home with some close people. It was nice and cosy. I like solitude and shanti, so that is the best way to do it for me,” said the versatile actress whose film Full Plate, directed by actor-director Tannishtha Chatterjee, has been creating waves on the festival circuit. Over to Kirti.
Have you always been drawn to solitude or have you evolved to this state of being?
I don’t know whether I have evolved or devolved (laughs). I used to celebrate festivals very enthusiastically till I was in school. But slowly, I moved away from doing so, which was also part of my evolution as a person. I have moved on from being quite a social butterfly to keeping it simpler and quieter for myself over the years.
Does being able to enjoy your own company feel empowering in many ways?
Absolutely! It is a consequence of the field I am in. In this profession, we are so out there. When we are working, we are surrounded by so many people that being able to withdraw into one’s cocoon, at the end of the day, feels like some sort of sanity.
I also take deliberate breaks between my projects because while working, there is a lot of spending that happens physically, mentally and emotionally. Hence, I like going back into my space to rejuvenate.
The byproducts of your profession include constant scrutiny, pressure of social media, paparazzi culture.... How do you strike a balance in giving into all of this to some degree yet maintaining your privacy?
I have drawn a line when it comes to being spotted (by paparazzi cameras). I never call people and say: ‘I am at a party, come and click pictures’. That is a complete no-no for me. When I am not working, I literally go into hiding. Thanks to the pandemic, I wear a mask in public, but even then many people recognise me, perhaps through my eyes or my voice. Which also makes me marvel at how observant people are.
When I am on a personal break, unless I am in the mood to indulge, I say ‘no’ to pictures. I like meeting people and talking to them, but I am not the greatest fan of pictures. The whole thing of selfies is not something I understand, to be honest.
In terms of my social media presence, I have been stuck at 1.3 million followers on Instagram for the last four years. I do not play the game of Instagram and other social media. If I wasn’t a public figure, I wouldn’t be on Instagram.
A large section of the media has now understood that I don’t like to put myself out there. This is the kind of life I want to lead... when you are not running after fame and the people around you support you in that. I only want to be talked about when it comes to my work. I bump into fans every now and then and I have realised that I like personal interactions more than the interactions in the virtual world. Lead the life you want to and the world will adjust itself around it. Yes, I do feel eyes on me all the time, but I have learnt to make my peace with it.
Busan to Sydney — you have travelled with your film Full Plate to some of the major film festivals around the world. What has that experience been like and what spoke to you about this film?
When I am approached for any film, what speaks to me, in general, is when a particular director is able to envision me as someone very different than what people have seen me as. That is a very exciting starting point for me. In the case of Full Plate, Tannishtha (Chatterjee, director) called me one day and said that she had something for me. She hadn’t even started writing the script but had a basic idea and story in mind. I thought the story was not only interesting, but a character that nobody could imagine me as. In fact, people in the film team itself were kind of doubtful whether I would be able to look the part of Amreen and play her.
Tannishtha is someone I have known since Jal (2013, that they both acted in). I know her sensibilities, I know her gaze and her idea of storytelling. Full Plate could have become a very serious drama, but Tannishtha has a unique sense of humour that is also present in this film. As a person and a writer, she has a flair for finding humour to get through situations in life. What she has done as a writer and director in Full Plate is very difficult to pull off. It is very emotional but has a humorous touch, which is the best way to approach a story like this. All of this put together felt like something that I should be doing. I look for challenges because that is where I learn, grow and become better. Doing such kind of work empowers me as an actor.
Amreen leads a suppressed life and then finds her calling — and her freedom — through her cooking. Her situation in life and the socio-economic pressures she faces are very different from yours. Yet, did you find anything in common with her?
I play someone who cooks at other peoples’ homes. My relatability actually comes a lot from Monica’s (Dogra) character, whose house Amreen cooks in. When I played her, all I could think about was all the cooks and helpers who have worked for me. All of a sudden, I could see and understand the other side of the socio-economic scenario.
To be honest, as an actor, I have crossed that line where I need to have experienced or lived the life of the characters I am playing in order to bring them alive on screen. I have realised that a good actor should be able to step into anybody’s shoes... if you are a sensitive, emotional person, if you have a slightly higher emotional quotient, and the ability to observe and absorb your surroundings, it becomes easier for me.
In fact, I am looking for characters where I know that I haven’t lived that life at all or I haven’t been that person. As an actor, I have now understood how to access a character who is far removed from who I am.
Yes, as a woman, I understand what Amreen faces. Like patriarchy, which I may not face to the extent and extreme that she does, but it is definitely something that is all around us. The core is the same. But as I said, when I play a character, it no longer matters to me whether I am like her in any way or whether I am able to access my experiences or memories to play her. That helps me be just about anybody in a film, without letting my judgment, prejudice or social conditioning come in the way.
Actors shouldn’t judge the characters they play. You cannot have projections of your own baggage — good, bad or ugly — towards the character. Operating on a clean slate is something I am learning to do as an actor. I feel lighter and it is much more fun because it doesn’t weigh me down.
What caught the audience’s interest in the film festivals Full Plate has travelled to so far?
One of the biggest compliments for me, as an actor, is when people come to me to say that the person in front of them on screen doesn’t match with the person they are standing in front of. They are like: ‘Oh my God, we can’t believe you are the same person!’ That is always high praise for me.
Kirti Kulhari (left) with actor-director Tannishtha Chatterjee at the Indian Film Festival of Sydney where their film Full Plate was screened
How are you looking at life in the next few years, both in terms of work and personal space?
As an actor, I am in the mood to play, I want to have fun. I have become more fearless in terms of my choices. You will see me becoming more fearless in the future. The baggage of the industry in terms of first lead, second lead, supporting actor, this actor, that actor... I am letting go of all that. At this point in life, I can do a film which has me in only five scenes because the people working on it excite me, the story excites me, and I want to be a part of something wonderful. I am moving away from how the industry will perceive me and my choices... it has now become a very individualistic journey for me. I feel very empowered and validated by the journey I have had so far.
Personally, I have always strived to find simplicity, away from the madness and the show-sha of the industry. I have my two boys (pet dogs), Hope and Spirit. I am also in a good space as far as having someone in my life is concerned. It is a very recent development (smiles). Keeping it easy and simple... that is the kind of life I like.