They are like yin and yang. One blessed with an elegant quietude and the other with enviable vigour. They share a common fiery spirit though. Mother and daughter duo Tanusree and Sreenanda Shankar. They celebrate Mother’s Day with t2, with an exclusive chat, at their Ballygunge home.
What was Sreenanda like as a kid? Was she a naughty kid?
Tanusree: It’s an understatement. She was quite a handful. She always ganged up with her dad (Ananda Shankar). Whenever I would ask her not to do something, she would just go (do it). She knew exactly who to ask and manage ki kore korbe, but I think that’s a phase when all daughters do that with their dad. The mother is always the enemy... telling them to study... (laughs)
Were you a strict mom?
Sreenanda Shankar: I don’t think so.
Tanusree: Not strict in that sense, but I was trying to make her do things which were not likeable... (laughs)
Sreenanda: Like sit down to study, apply oil.... (laughs out loud)
Tanusree: And her father was, let’s go for a trip...
Sreenanda: If someone tells you let’s go to Disneyland instead of school, what would you choose? So, he was as crazy. I mean, I guess I get that from him.
Tanusree: She has got it from him.
Sreenanda, what are your memories of your mother from your childhood?
Sreenanda: Completely opposites. The father’s side is the crazy Shankar family, but because she comes from an Army background, she and her mother, my nani... they kept me grounded. I will have to give that credit to both my parents, because I have always seen them humble, being able to mix with anybody of any stature. But yeah, like I said, she used to try to ground me, and my dad used to say, “Do you want to learn riding or play tennis?”
Tanusree: We never forced her that you have to be a musician, or you have to be a dancer. So we gave her that choice. I come from a doctor’s family. Everybody’s a lawyer or doctor on my side of the family. So I come from an academic and disciplined family, and I got married into a bohemian family.
So, you know, I learned a lot from my in-laws. Ananda used to always tease my mother. He would say: ‘You need to pay me a lot because meyeke toh aami boro korlam’. Ananda and I met when I was 13, and we got married when I was 17. He said, the rest of the 25 years, I only brought her up! (Laughs) For her, she had the best of both. I was trying to give her the discipline that I went through in my childhood, waking up in the morning.
Sreenanda: I automatically wake up early. All of us have been decently early risers. I toh see the sun rise. I get up that early because I vlog, that’s when I actually dub. So I’m pretty much working 24 hours, so being able to wake up early actually works for me. I am a morning person. It’s strange that though I am the madcap you think I am, my day or time of eating, sleeping is quite disciplined.
What values have you tried to inculcate in her right from childhood?
Tanusree: I think to be a good human being. That was also, I think, what her father would say. You may be a fantastic artiste for two hours on the stage. The rest of the 22 hours is important, when you’re with people. That remains with people. If people do not like you as a person, they will not look at you the second time, or they will not remember you. So that is very important to me. And I think it’s your conscience which matters. And I think what I heard from Ananda, even he would tell those stories to Mishtu (Sreenanda’s nickname), that my father-in-law (Uday Shankar) was like that. Very humble. If you want to say thank you to somebody, look into that person’s eyes, smile and then say thank you. Mean it when you’re saying thank you, or when you’re giving somebody something, give it from the heart. If you have invited someone home, make that person feel welcome. So those are the small things that matter.
Sreenanda, you lost your father fairly young. Did she become a father and a mother both at one point?
Absolutely! She didn’t make me feel that my father was missing, because I was dealing with it in my own way. It was difficult for me to even stay in Calcutta, because what happens is, you know, this whole concept is there of nepo kids, right? This is something I always say, if I don’t do anything that has to do with my family, they’ll be like, you are a disgrace, you’re not doing it, you’re not taking it forward. But if I do it, then I am a nepo kid. So I have nowhere to go, which is why I just live my life, and I don’t care. I do my thing. I do my duties. I have taken the Uday Shankar style to Mumbai. We have six branches there. Not necessarily that I will have to show my face there. When do I dance? When I feel like. I take up a dancing project when I feel like, but I do my own work, but at the same time, the school belongs to both of us. So now people all over the country are actually googling about dadu, about my dad, because beyond Bengal, nobody knows. I mean, people, a lot of Bengalis, are like how can that be, but that is the truth.
Because I live in Mumbai, I can see from the outside. I can see Bengal, and I can see what’s going on outside. That awareness is not there. They know Pandit Ravi Shankarji, of course, but the rest, they don’t. Now they’re all googling. I’m happy because it’s working. The awareness is coming up. And then when they are discovering the style, specially being taught by ma, they are coming in bunches. Last batch, we had 77 students. This time, we have 79, all over Mumbai. That’s how I’m taking the legacy forward.
Sreenanda, how much credit will you give your mother for giving you that confidence to not have any pressure?
Sreenanda: She has always said there is no pressure, but I felt the pressure. The public doesn’t let you go. The kind of things you have to hear, the trolling is as bad as abuse, yes, but now I don’t care. They’re like pests with these locked profiles. I do pest control and block, finished, and then I don’t even read it. But honestly, 99 per cent of the people have shown me so much love that the rest of them don’t matter. With the good comes a little bit of bad. It’s a part of life.
Tanusree: I will also give her the credit, because there came a time when she wanted to do something on her own first, where she would not be recognised as being from our Shankar family. So I think she succeeded on her own, because later on, there were a lot of people who said, ‘You never told us that you were from that family’.
She started with her blog of Makeover Madness, and it really took off at its own pace, and it’s really growing. I mean, today, wherever I’m going, all over the world, everybody’s telling me, you know, we all follow your daughter’s make-up, across ages....
What were your favourite things to do when Sreenanda was a kid?
Sreenanda: She used like dressing me up. My head was this small, and the bows would be this big. She used to come to me with a bow, and I used to be like, where should I hide?
Tanusree: She had scanty hair, and I would buy all the matching flower clips, but there was no hair to put them on. I used to be so upset.
Sreenanda: She used to buy me clothes. I have done baby shows.
Tanusree: She got a prize in a baby show. So I used to make her wear halters, and my mother used to go mad.
Sreenanda: I was a doll to play with.
Over the years, how has this relationship evolved?
Sreenanda: Now I am the mother, and she’s the daughter, and she doesn’t listen to me. Very naughty. I want to take care of her health. The tables have turned. When she dances, she forgets everything. I don’t stay in Calcutta, so I do stay concerned, but I think we talk like four or five times a day on video call, so we’re very connected that way. And now, she keeps coming to Mumbai once a month, so that’s a great thing. She comes and stays with me for a week. Although she takes her classes, it’s like a mini-holiday. I get to pamper her and cook for her.
Sreenanda, what is dance for you?
Sreenanda: I come from a family where I learned to dance before I learned to walk. So for me, it’s a part of my life. I know the style. I understand the style, I can say the rights and wrongs about the style, which is why I’m able to run the school in Mumbai, or be able to point out what should be done. I take care of the whole social media, the presentation, the marketing and the admissions. That’s what I’m doing, and that is because I understand it. When it comes to performances, I’m moody. When I feel like I should do this and it will suit me, I do it. Otherwise, I avoid it.
Tanusree: She might tell you she doesn’t want to dance, or she doesn’t feel like dancing, or she can’t dance....
Sreenanda: I can’t dance like them!
Tanusree: These are her favourite sentences, but you just put on music and she will not be able to sit. It’s there in her DNA, even if she does not want to do it. You know, unfortunately, in my DNA, there was nothing to do with doctors (laughs).
What would you be if you were not a professional dancer?
Tanusree: I don’t know... maybe an interior decorator. (Smiles) Something to do with art, but not a doctor, for sure. For her (Sreenanda), she has dance and music in her totally. She has a fantastic sense of rhythm. Some day or the other, she will dance.
Sreenanda: I actually wanted to either be a comedian or an FBI agent. Then my father said, FBI is not in India!
You must give comedy a shot! There is so much joy in you...
Sreenanda: I can’t do stand-up (comedy). When I blog, my team just keeps the camera on because they don’t know what will come out of my mouth and when.
Tanusree: It’s just like her father. Wherever he went, people would be in splits.
Sreenanda: He had that energy and could get away with anything, practical jokes, and he would pull people’s legs... he did not spare the who’s who, and they loved it.
Tanusree: She has that comic timing.
What are your dreams for your mother?
Sreenanda: I think everyone should get a chance to learn some dance from her. At the age of 69-70, the way this woman grooves, the way she dances, it is something to imbibe. My dream for her is to embrace all students from all over the world and share her dance, her wisdom, the way she teaches her style, and they’ll all become complete dancers in some way. This is my dream for her, and I want her to be happy and healthy.
What are your dreams for Sreenanda?
Tanusree: For me, it’s important for her to be happy and to go forward and find what she wants. So I tell her that, you know, ask the universe and it will give it to you, and it does give it to you, and it has given it to her, whatever she wanted. She wanted to go out of Calcutta and do something on her own. The universe has given it to her, and it gives it to you in its own time when it is right for you. I think it’s very important to be patient and just enjoy every moment of life. I was telling all the students and the teachers who had come yesterday to wish me (on her birthday) that you know, all of you just remember to enjoy your life.
Sreenanda: I take that very seriously now.
Tanusree: Travel. You don’t have to keep money in the bank. Spend it on yourself.
Sreenanda: Now, it’s a little opposite. I have learned to save a little, you know. I have become smarter about money. I was an idiot before. I’m able to plan...
Tanusree: Which is good, but I want her to really be happy and create memories for herself, and definitely success will follow. She doesn’t have to run after success.
Sreenanda: We all have our definition of success, right? What is success? I had put up this thing on social media a few days ago that some of us always feel that, you know, some people are more ahead of us in life, but there is no such thing because they’ve not walked our path. So if they’ve not walked, how can they be ahead? So for me, I feel a little bit of success when I’m actually living a life where I’m earning out of just being myself. And that is a priceless, liberating feeling...