Reels of people going on blind dates in Kolkata are trending, even though they look staged. Women in the city say the idea of meeting someone from a dating app comes with careful planning and safety checks.
The latest National Crime Records Bureau report for 2023, published in October 2025, ranked Kolkata as India’s safest city for the fourth consecutive year. At the same time, perceptions about safety remained complex, as barely five weeks before the NCRB report, the National Commission for Women placed Kolkata below average on women’s safety. So when reports contradict, women say safety remains a grey area and meeting strangers through online platforms requires large degrees of caution.
My Kolkata spoke to women who use dating apps to understand what personal precautions they adopt before meeting someone for the first time.
‘Waiting before meeting’
For Sunita Ranjan, a 25-year-old first-year postgraduate student from Kolkata, knowing enough about the person is important. She does a thorough background check before meeting. “First of all, I wouldn’t go out to meet someone until I’ve talked to them for at least more than a month and gotten to know them,” she said.
She also keeps her close ones in the loop about her whereabouts. “If I do go on a date, I obviously let all my friends know and share my location. The place we meet would be of my choice, a very public space close to metros and stations. I prefer meeting him directly at the spot,” she added.
‘The threat is just not sexual harassment’
For others, the fear goes beyond harassment. In her late 20s, Shreya, a sales professional, points to another concern — scams.
“With everything going on in the world, it is scary to meet strangers. It is not only sexual harassment. There are different kinds of scams happening in the name of dating,” she said.
She seldom meets strangers, but when she does, she makes sure she goes to places she has been before.
“I met people once or twice, I made sure it was a public place and I let one of my friends know about my location. There are times when I share my live location with a friend.”
‘Documentation is important’
Some women say they take extra steps to make sure someone close to them can identify the person they are meeting.
Tanusree Ghosh, 31, who works in Bangalore and visits Kolkata occasionally, sometimes meets people through dating and matrimonial sites.
“I am looking for a suitable marriage match. I am open to meeting people from dating and matrimonial sites when I return to my hometown. I am embarrassed to say this, because it may sound bizarre and creepy, but I try to take a photo with the man and send it to someone close besides sharing my location.”
‘Setting strict boundaries’
Others approach first dates with some boundaries. Snigdha Sardar, a 23-year-old content writer, says she avoids situations that could get her into trouble.
“I make it a point not to go to a bar for the first date. Even if I am drinking, I try not to mix drinks or get too high,” she said.
She also sets a curfew for herself. “I don’t extend the date beyond 10.30pm so that I get a cab on time. I avoid meeting people from outside the state or going to hotel rooms,” she added.
Requesting anonymity, another 30-year-old working woman said, “I was on a date with a man who insisted we try different types of alcohol bases and cocktails. It did not seem right, so I decided to cut the date night short. Since then, I have been cautious.”
‘Safeguarding personal information’
Limiting how much personal information is shared online is another precaution that Inisha Banerjee takes. The 29-year-old corporate professional shared that she prefers to keep conversations within the dating app until she is comfortable sharing her contact details.
“I do not share my contact number on dating sites before meeting them in person. I also make sure I do not give out personal information like my address,” Banerjee said.
Many women also say that dating apps are inundated with married men who do not clearly reveal their marital status.
A communication expert, who did not wish to be named, said, “It is okay if the other person is in an open marriage. But I would want to know that. Many men don’t come clean about it. And that is a problem even if it is not a safety threat.”