When Siddharth Roy, now 58, lost his job two months into marriage, it led to a flurry of emotions that mostly manifested in the form of anger, often leading to outbursts. While his relatives judged him for being jobless and erratic, his newlywed spouse stood by his side like a pillar of support.
“I was angry, withdrawn, and ashamed. I would break things and hurt myself, but never talk about what was bothering me. My wife never pressured me to talk, but made it clear that she was there. She helped me believe that vulnerability wasn’t weakness,” recalled Roy, a retired school teacher from Kalyani, about 50 kilometres north of Kolkata.
Like Roy, for many men, expressing sadness, fear and vulnerability remains a challenge even in 2025. But manning up is not always the answer, experts say.
As June marks Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, My Kolkata spotlights the often silent battles that men fight every day, and how women are helping the cause, one heart-to-heart at a time.
“The ratio of male to female patients at our clinic is roughly 50-50. Earlier, men were more reluctant to seek help, but that hesitation has lessened, especially in urban areas,” said Santanu Goswami, a consultant psychiatrist at Narayana Hospital, Howrah.
According to Goswami, in many cases, women — wives, mothers, sisters, or partners — are the first to notice something is amiss.
“They often pick up on subtle behavioural changes like irritability, withdrawal, or disturbed sleep. Their emotional strength and stress-handling capacity make them natural caregivers. With supportive communication and patience, they can encourage men to seek professional help,” said Goswami.
Women’s role in men’s emotional well-being goes beyond being mere observers — they are often the catalyst who turn silent suffering into meaningful expression, believes 29-year-old Kaushik Mitra, a digital marketing executive in Kolkata.
“I didn’t realise I was going through burnout until my girlfriend pointed out that I wasn’t sleeping well and had become more irritable. She nudged me to talk to a therapist. Without her, I might’ve just brushed it off as stress,” Kaushik said.
Experts stress these conversations should start early, and mothers play a crucial role in helping teenage boys open up about mental health struggles.
“Teenage boys often deal with peer pressure, identity issues, and emotional confusion silently. When mothers and female caregivers initiate open conversations about feelings, mental health, and self-expression, it normalises emotional vulnerability. This helps boys grow into emotionally healthy men who are not afraid to speak up or seek help when needed,” said Hansal Bhachech, consultant psychiatrist at HCG Hospitals, Ahmedabad.
For adult men, too, gentle support from women can open doors to healing. “Men are often conditioned to suppress emotions, fearing being seen as weak. In such situations, the women in their lives — be it a mother, sister, wife, or friend — can play a crucial role,” Bhachech explained.
“The first step is to create a safe, non-judgmental space for them to talk. Instead of offering quick solutions, just listening patiently can be powerful. Gentle encouragement to seek professional help, without pressuring them, also goes a long way,” he added.
Experts agree that normalising conversations around mental health within the family can make a huge difference.
“We need to start young. Mental health sensitisation at the school level can nurture emotional intelligence among boys. Teaching them that it’s okay to cry, to speak up, or to ask for help can dismantle deeply ingrained gender biases,” said psychiatrist Goswami.
For women, helping doesn’t always mean offering solutions — often, it’s just being there. Listening without judgment, validating feelings, and not shaming emotional expression are small actions that can have long-term effects.
Creating emotionally safe spaces at home also includes being mindful of language. Avoiding phrases like “man up” or “don’t be so sensitive” can remove the shame around emotional vulnerability. Encouraging shared responsibilities and allowing men to engage in caregiving or emotional roles can further reduce the burden of masculinity.
According to mental health experts, the journey towards better mental health is not a solo one — it thrives in understanding, companionship and care. And women, with their empathetic intuition and strength, are uniquely placed to lead this quiet but powerful revolution.