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Punch 28-07-2005

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By The Telegraph Online
  • Published 28.07.05
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Man: Doctor, I have gained a lot of weight and want to become thin.

Doctor: No problem. Go to Victoria Memorial and take three rounds everyday.

After 10 days...

Man: Doctor, there is still no change in my weight.

Doctor: Take five rounds then.

After another 10 days...

Man: Doctor, I still haven?t lost any weight.

Doctor: Okay, take ten rounds.

Man: But, doctor, how much money do you want me to spend on petrol every day?

anjali doshi, Class VIII, Loreto Day School, Calcutta

 

Teacher: Tell me, Ratan, what does a carpenter do?

Ratan: Umm... does he paint a car?

radhika chandak, Class VII, St Stephen?s School, Calcutta

 

Q: Why can?t Rahul make ice cubes?

A: Because he always forgets the recipe!

shambaditya das, Class VIII, The St Xavier?s School, Malda, West Bengal

 

Teacher: Change the sentence, ?He gives her a present,? into past tense.

Student: He gave her a past.

avay chandra sinha, Class VI, St Patrick?s School, Asansol, West Bengal

 

Lady: I want a piece of meat without bone or fat.

Shopkeeper: You?d better take an egg then.

sana anwar, Class IV, St Thomas School, Godda, Jharkhand

 

History teacher: Harun, when was Rome built?

Harun: At night, sir.

History teacher: How can you say that?

Harun: Only yesterday our English teacher told us that Rome was not built in a day.

sonakshi biswas, Class VII, St Mary?s Higher Secondary School, Shillong, Meghalaya

 

Stranger: You?ve just sold a TV set. Now give me my commission.

Shopkeeper: Who are you? And why should I give you a commission?

Stranger: I stole the customer?s TV set last night. So it is because of me that he had to buy a new TV today.

aditya narayan das, Class VI, W.W.A. Cossipore English School, Calcutta

 

Rakesh: what is the price of your goat?

Owner: Rs 200.

Rakesh: How can that be? Yesterday you told me that you would sell it for Rs 100.

Owner: But last night it swallowed a hundred-rupee note.

nissar goel, Class VII, St James School, Jalpaiguri, West Bengal

 

Teacher: Quiet! Why are you making such a lot of noise?

Students: We are not making a noise, we are discussing something.

Teacher: What are you discussing?

Students: The benefits of silence.

hrisikesh thakur, Class IV, Don Bosco High School, Jorhat, Assam

 

Teacher: Can any of you describe a skeleton?

Mohit: A skeleton is a person who went on a diet and forgot to stop.

anant gupta, Class VIII, St James School, Binnaguri, West Bengal

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