Punch 20-02-2008

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By The Telegraph Online
  • Published 20.02.08
  •  

Father: How are your grades, son?

Son: Underwater, dad.

Father: What do you mean?

Son: Below C level.

Subham Saha, Class VII, Burnpur Riverside School, Asansol

 

Question: What starts with the letter ‘P’, ends with the letter ‘E’ and has millions of letters?

Answer: Post office.

Dhrubojyoti Roy, Class VII, Delhi Public School, Siliguri

 

A woman goes to a psychiatrist with a duck in her lap.

Psychiatrist: How may I help you, ma’am?

Woman: I don’t need any help.

Psychiatrist: Then what’s the matter?

Woman (pointing to the duck): The problem is with my husband, who thinks he’s a duck.

Rupsagar Chatterjee, Class VII, St Francis Elite School, Calcutta

 

Boy: Mom, today I learnt how to make the impossible possible.

Mother: How?

Boy: By removing the first two letters.

Ranesh Kumar das, Class VI, D.A.V. Model School, Durgapur

 

Customer: Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: That’s all right. We won’t charge you extra for it.

Suparna Jana, Class VI, The Assembly of God Church School, Tollygunge

 

Man: Excuse me, could you tell me the fastest way to reach the hospital?

Passer-by: Of course. Just stand in the middle of the road when it’s rush hour.

Saikat Maity, Class VIII, K.T.P.P. High School, Mecheda, Midnapore East

 

Servant: What are you doing, sir?

Employer: Writing a novel.

Servant: Why are you writing it? You can just go to any bookshop and buy one that you like.

Raktotpal Gogoi, Class VII, Delhi Public School, Nazira

 

Question: What’s the similarity between a baby and a dress?

Answer: A baby is what we were. A dress is what we wear.

Kiriti Rao, Class III, D.A.V. Public School, Jamtara, Jharkhand

 

Question: What do you call a sleeping bull?

Answer: A bull-dozer.

Akash Sharma, Class V, Sunrise High School, Belur

 

Ravi: Why isn’t the sun there at night?

Sohan: The sun is always there, even at night. It’s just that we can’t see it.

Ravi: Why can’t we see it?

Sohan: Because it is too dark.

Manoj Gope, Class VII, Kendriya Vidyalaya, Surda, Jharkhand

 

Teacher: What do you call the outside of a tree’s trunk? Student: I don’t know, sir.

Teacher: Bark, you fool, bark.

Student: All right. Woof! Woof! Woof!

Puronjoni Sikdar, Class V, Daffodils School, Silchar, Assam

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