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Punch 08-02-2012

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By The Telegraph Online
  • Published 8.02.12

Police officer: Why are you trying to cross the road here? Can’t you see the zebra crossing 20 yards away? Ashok: Well, I guess the zebra has better luck than me.

Mother: Why are you holding the receiver to your ear? Did the telephone ring?

Aman: No, I am expecting a call. Isn’t it better to be prepared?

Policeman: I’m now going to ask you to accompany me to the police station.

Drunkard: Why, can’t you walk around on your own?

Question: What did the kangaroo say when he found his baby missing?

Answer: Somebody has picked my pocket!

Uncle: Do you write with your left hand or right hand, child?

Ian: Neither. I use a pen.

Mother and Father were waiting at the airport.

Mother: I wish we had brought the TV with us.

Father: Why, the flight isn’t that late.

Mother: I left the plane tickets on it.

Lawyer: I must tell you in advance that I charge Rs 100 for every question.

Client: But isn’t that rather expensive?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. Can I have your next question now?

Man (to a woman with a child on her lap): That man just stole your purse!

Woman: He won’t keep it for long.

Man: Why’s that?

Woman: It’s a diaper bag.

Question: What did the bookworm say to the librarian? Answer: Can I burrow this book, please?

Prapti: Why is the cat sitting beside the computer? Ali: Because it can smell a mouse.

Father: Do you still want to be a cardiologist, son? Son: I want to be a dentist now.

Father: Why did you change your mind?

Son: A man has only one heart but 32 teeth. I decided that I would make much more money as a dentist.

Patient: Doctor, I feel sleepy when- ever I sit down.

Doctor: Why don’t you just sleep whenever you are sleepy?

Patient: I can’t. I’m a bus driver.

Sagar: What is the longest piece of furniture in the school?

Tina: The multiplication table.

Question: What does a house wear?

Answer: A-ddress.

Physics teacher: What is the unit of power?

Student: What?

Physics teacher: Good! It is watt.

Judge: Can’t you settle this outside the court?

Criminal: That’s exactly what I was trying to do when I was arrested.

Rima: Can you lend me your cat? There are too many mice in my house.

Ali: Sorry, my cat doesn’t go anywhere. Bring the mice to him.

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