The Telegraph
| Sunday, November 9, 2014 |

Graphiti

Survival Strategies

Suhel Seth has an unconventional take on personal problems — and their solutions

I am an 18-year-old girl. I fell in love a year ago. He's my first love and my best friend, but he does not love me. He loved someone, but the girl cheated on him. Now, he cannot trust others when it comes to love. Help me please.

Name and address withheld

Darling this lad is the romantic version of Bin Laden. He too didn't trust anyone. See what happened to him. You have a destiny and my advice is run from this man or boy or whoever he is, as quickly as you can. These men will grow up to be suspicious of every move of yours and your life will be even more miserable than it presently is. So move on as quickly as your legs will take you and find some new pastures.

For two years I have been in love with a girl in my tuition class. I haven't been able to tell her as she is my best friend. I fear that proposing to her might spoil our friendship. Please help me out.

Name and address withheld

So why don't you spend an entire lifetime playing dumb? You also may become Prime Minister of India one day, but that's for another discussion. Listen dolt, you have to open your mouth; for all you know she might be thinking of you as an able-bodied brother. How on earth do you guys tell people you love them? Through sign language or do you want to break the news to her through this column of mine?

I am 19 years old and in a relationship with a guy. He wants me to become a doctor for his parents won't agree to our relationship otherwise. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

Doctor for his parents? Does it mean he wants you to be a medical doctor or doctor his parents or what? If someone like you can't even communicate in English, what hope in hell do you have to get into a relationship? Look either way you are doomed. My advice is find a new lover and get hold of a copy of Wren & Martin. Dolt.

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25, Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: [email protected]
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Email: [email protected]
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)

Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: [email protected]
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counsell
Wing on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)