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The Telegraph
| Sunday, September 8, 2013 |
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Survival Strategies

Suhel Seth has an unconventional take on personal problems — and their solutions

My mother always warnsme against getting involved with any man. And although I am not seeing anyone, she is always nagging me. Her suspicious nature is driving me up the wall. She spies on me and my friends and gives me a tough time if she finds me talking to a guy. And all this, after she has herself been involved in an extra-marital affair. How do I show her reason?

Name and address withheld

You can't show her reason. She knows the game my darling and knows it better than you ever will. The one thing that could have happened is she may have been dumped. All women who get dumped have an initial hatred towards men whereas we men are more forgiving. That is the nature of the beast. Just give it time and all will be well. In any case, in the long run she will be dead, so one day you just might end up with a man.

I love dancing, it is my only passion. Last year I got married to my boyfriend of seven years and now suddenly the same man who fell in love with me because of my dance says that I can't dance any more. I come from a humble background and it's not easy for me to break my marriage on this pretext. But I cannot give up what I love the most either. How do I make my husband understand?

Name and address withheld

Just take him away on a holiday, do some erotic dancing and watch him melt. This is the tragedy with most Indian men. They have one set of rules and standards for their girlfriends and quite another for their wives and a completely benign one for their ugly mistresses. Such is life darling. I think you are pretty much stuck with this owl.

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Alcoholics anonymous
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Al-Anon
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www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous
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Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation
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Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

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Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)