The Telegraph
Sunday , June 19 , 2011
Since 1st March, 1999
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Survival Strategies

My tuition-class girlfriend has stopped talking to me. Her number’s changed too. I have her father’s number. Should I call him?

Name and address withheld

Of course you must call her Dad. Tell him you wish to speak to the babe who used to study with you, who you loved unabashedly and then the stupid girl went and changed her number and has even stopped talking to you. Tell him everything. Tell him how desperate you are and how you want to spend the rest of your life with his precocious daughter. Tell him to give you her number and ensure she does everything you ask her to. When you’ve finished talking to her Dad, do remind yourself to share it with me and all our readers. I am dying to see what he will do to you. On my part I shall be looking out for the obituary pages in anticipation of seeing your ugly mug there.

I am 18. My mother blames her luck for having given birth to me. I am naughty but these comments hurt. How do I explain this to her?

Name and address withheld

She could blame poor contraception methods or at the worst, your father. You must be doing something truly disastrous for her to feel that way. Even Osama and Kasab’s respective mothers did not feel so strongly about their errant wards so why should your mother? I guess you need to chat with her and tell her that you feel miserable and that she is destroying your soul. If even then she does not relent, then just give up on her and let her go to hell. Simple.

I’m 28. I have a son. My husband and I have been separated for five years. His family wants me back. But my husband loves someone else and can’t leave her. I feel helpless.

Name and address withheld

There is nothing to feel helpless. You ARE helpless and the point here is they want you to go back to placate their son. You must do nothing of the sort. Let them go to hell for all you care. You must never go back to a man who will start treating you like a doormat all over again. What’s the point and what was the separation then all about? Self esteem in these matters is critical: lose it and you lose everything. Just stay put and to hell with their advances or advice.


Alcoholics anonymous

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Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
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Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)

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Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

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(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)


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