The Telegraph
Since 1st March, 1999
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Survival strategies

I am a 46-year-old woman, in love with a man who is 15 years younger than me. My family is very much against this match and even my friends are teasing us. Do you think age differences matter when it comes to love?

Name and address withheld

Ask Rupert Murdoch. He married someone who was his granddaughter’s age and he is doing pretty well, so why worry? It is all in the mind. Remember Churchill: he said a man is only as young as the woman he feels. So in many ways you should feel 15 years younger than older if you get the simple arithmetic, you goddamn cradle-snatcher!

I am a 32-year-man. I got married recently. The trouble is I have a pet dog and my wife just can’t stand it. She just hates dogs and treats my pet with indifference and disgust. She is emotionally blackmailing me to give away my dog. However, I am absolutely not ready for that. This is creating differences between us. What should I do?

Ratan, via e-mail

Never ever give up your dog. Give up that woman but never your dog. She will want a Birkin before she kisses you whereas your dog will kiss you even though you look the way you do. Dogs offer unconditional love, women and men never do. I hate sounding like Maneka Gandhi but a dog is any day better that your wife. Besides, we can stroke your dog but hardly stroke your wife if you get the drift, son?

I am a 16-year-old boy in love with a girl who’s a year younger than me. She loves me a lot. A couple of days back, she spent some time alone with me at my house. But her parents found out about this and have forbidden her to meet me. After this, we don’t meet anymore. She has told me that she cannot go against her family though she loves me truly. I am feeling very confused now. What should I do?

Taritwan, via e-mail

What is so goddamn confusing? Don’t you guys get messages clearly any more? She does not want to meet you and she loves her parents more than she cares even a hoot for you and that is the way this cookie has crumbled wise guy. So find another girl and try not to get everyone over to your home: this is not the way gentlemen seduce women. Don’t you live in a city or are you a resident of Ranchi, son, that you can’t meet these babes in a park?

I have fallen in love with a colleague. We’ve been together for the past eight months. However, lately she has been acting a little distant. She is not even receiving my calls. Most of the time, she is talking with somebody else on the phone. I am feeling terribly cheated and confused now. Recently, I have also started feeling suicidal. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

This is more common than the common cold. Colleague, my foot. She is not cheating on you: remember you fell in love. She has never been under any such illusion and just so that dolts like you get to read the writing on the wall she is letting you know through silence. Find another colleague or a different workplace, son.

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