The Telegraph
Since 1st March, 1999
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Suddenly something

I have been dating this guy for three years and till now, I saw no signs of a marriage proposal. He was due to leave for his Ph.D for five years, and I was worried that our relationship would come to an end. Suddenly, he proposed the day before he was going! He canít take me along right now, nor can I leave my job and family behind. What do I do'


Three years is a long time to invest in a relationship. Why he chose the day before leaving to propose, I donít know. Does he have any plans to come down in the near future'

And do you want to marry him in the first place' If the answer to these questions is a yes, I think you should discuss the issue with your folks and tie the knot when he is here and then leave with him, or whenever the visa formalities are complete. Long-distance relationships are very unpredictable and best avoided. Five years is a long time to be apart, and who knows what will happen.

My boyfriend and I never seem to agree on anything, whether it is a dish in a restaurant or a movie. If I want to eat Chinese, he wants Indian food. If I want to see Harry Potter, he wants to watch Die Hard! We end up having major fights. Compromising is becoming too much of an issue. Should we just call it quits'


Since you have already thought of the quit option, I think you should simply go ahead and end it! If you think you are not compatible and you cannot compromise anymore, why prolong the relationship unnecessarily'

You clearly donít feel it is worth it, and trust me, you will have to compromise a hell of a lot more than this in future if you do decide to stick it out. It doesnít sound like you have strong feelings for this guy at all, if the choice of restaurant is becoming your main issue. And donít you have anyone else you can watch movies with'

Pour your heart out to Swastika at

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