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Shhhh... I confess!

Despite what its ridiculous theme song Let’s Do It, Let’s Fall in Love suggests, The Secret Life of the American Teenager is NOT about love. It’s about a bunch of indecisive and impulsive teenagers with nothing and nobody to hold them back. In the end, the show is all about who is sleeping with whom.

The story began with simpleton Amy Juergens starting at Grant High School. She’s the quiet, humble and nerdy student who plays the French horn. Until the day she gets knocked up by the school playboy, Richard “Ricky” Underwood, at band camp. And then? Catastrophe strikes, of course.

Amy decides to keep the baby and soon becomes the “pregnant girl” of the high school. And to make it worse, she never really dates the father of her child. But Amy soon finds solace in the dorky (read cute) Ben Boykewich. They start dating and in spite of facing numerous problems regarding the baby, Ben hangs on. Well, at least until the middle of Season 2.

On the other hand, there’s Ricky, who’s dating Adrian but sleeping with any girl that crosses his path. Ricky is commitment-phobic but the best thing about him is that he is not afraid to father a child. Even though he refuses to commit himself to his relationship with Adrian, he proves to be quite a responsible father to Amy’s child.

The Secret Life..., to be honest, is very bold and brazen. It has a very controversial topic and a lot of er, hot stuff. And gossip. But its way of conveying the message is extremely in-your-face. Nevertheless, in the US, the problem of teenage pregnancy is quite real and common, and the creators of the show should be lauded for dealing with this issue.

Though rather irrelevant to and improbable for Indian teenagers, The Secret Life... is quite an entertaining show.

Psst: If not for anything else, watch it for the delectable Daren Kagasoff as Ricky Underwood!

The Secret Life... airs on Zee Cafe, Mon-Fri, 10pm

the secret life of a calcutta teenager

Kemon achhish?” they ask. “Bhalo achhi,” we say. Huh! I broke up with my boyfriend of two years some 16 hours ago. I failed calculus and mom shouted at me. I’m broke, with like 10 bucks in my wallet right now. And, oh, I’m also perennially depressed. Of course bhalo achhi.

Or maybe, “Ki shanto meye.” You have no idea what’s going on in my head. I have a test tomorrow. I have to face the girl who bullied me today. I need rest. I need to get chocolates for him. With all that racing through me, no wonder I’m so shanto, so chup chaap.

Welcome to The Secret Life of The Calcutta Teenager. We fight. We lose. We fall. We get back up. We fight again. We are on a roller coaster that only goes up. A Calcutta teenage girl, for example. What does her life revolve around? Studies (which is a must), looking everywhere for a really cute guy, having a favourite boy band to obsess about, and a few (like me) have an imaginary fictional crush too. And self-obsession. That, my dear t2 reader, means SELFIES.

A Calcutta teenage boy. His life is all about IPL, FIFA, Wimbledon, EPL, hockey... the lot. A few go gaga over being in a band and playing songs by Beatles, Imagine Dragons, Pink Floyd etc. And, of course, girls.

Teenage is a journey we take. Some take this journey the let’s-smoke-and-drink-and-waste-papa’s-money way. Some take it the let’s-sob-and-write-overtly-philosophical-posts way. And a few (like me :P) decide not to take either route. They remain crazy, innocent and Pokemon-loving. And yet get their hearts broken like everybody else.

But sometimes this teenage journey pushes us to the limit. And then, we want to get over with it. We want to run away from it all. We feel we’ve had enough. The urge to slash the wrist or cut the hand doesn’t come all of a sudden. It’s the result of a prolonged period of not being given attention to, of patience running thin.

The ones among us who smile the brightest sometimes have the deepest fears or sadness in them. The ones that say “have a good day” might be having a hell of a life every day. The ones that hold on to you tight may have no one to console them when they need it the most.

It’s hurtful when people misunderstand us. She’s smiling, so she’s happy. He waved at her, so he must be dating her. She’s in her adolescence, so she will find her parents irritating. But believe me, it’s nothing like that. What if it’s something else that’s bothering us? What if I’m just tired?

Everybody wants to be “cool”. But what is “cool”? Is it having a girlfriend/boyfriend? Is it being a “stud” (whatever THAT means)? Or is it quoting Byron in your Ask.fm bio thinking that it’s Shakespeare?

You say you find us difficult to handle? Well, we find ourselves difficult to handle. Unpredictable, messy and oh yes, LOVESICK. That’s precisely who we are. And we’re invincible. John Green says so.

No matter how much we try to be the whole YOLOSWAG thing and pretend we’ve got our shit together, WE DON’T. Our minds are as scattered as our rooms. And we like it that way. We like the feeling of not knowing. Of life taking us wherever it will.

Despite what TV shows or movies propagate, teenagers are not hostile. I repeat — WE ARE NOT HOSTILE. But we have our needs. We want love. We

want affection. And if we don’t get that, well, God save your soul! :P

A Cal-wala teen’s life has fights, patch ups, jealousy, ego, attraction and, of course, is generously sprinkled with ishqwala love. Some are disturbed by the frequent break-ups and patch ups and some by the lack of it. No boyfriend matlab #ForeverAlone! :D

Our lives are not what they show on screen. It’s much more than that. It’s bigger, better and complex-er.

Hope I did justice to the feelings of Cal Teens.

Yours truly,
The Distorted Aura