002 or 200, bah! Hajarey-hajarey lok aaschhe. Ami dekhte pachchhi ekhan theke. Raasta bhore gechhe (Thousands of people are coming. I can see from here. The road is teeming with people).
I am extending my speech as I can see people are coming in. The turnout may have been a bit low when I came in. I will tell you why.
I have come ahead of schedule. There was a communication gap. It was announced that the meeting would start at 2pm. Last night we decided to start the programme at 12 noon. Many people don’t know about the change in timing. Sorry.
Those who will reach late are going to misunderstand me. I am saying sorry to them.
I am told some “sources” are saying behind my back that I brought forward the timing because I wanted to leave early for picturesque Mukutmanipur (in neighbouring Bankura). Don’t believe them, though it is true that I do want to develop Mukutmanipur as a tourist destination. Many important people don’t know about these places.
Elementary. Now, don’t add “my dear, Bose” because I did not say so in the first place.
I use a process of reasoning in which a conclusion follows necessarily from the premises presented so that the conclusion cannot be false if the premises are true.
Don’t say “Phew” either. Let us look at the dialectics of Jungle Mahal.
Today was the 19th visit of the new chief minister to Jungle Mahal. What makes anyone think that people would want to listen to her for the 19th time in such a short span? Even I haven’t listened to my own speech so many times. We call it fatigue factor — though we managed to beat it for 34 years.
She keeps saying “Jungle Mahal is smiling”. I must ask Surjya if it is medically possible for Jungle Mahal or anyone to “smile” when the same promise is being made for the 19th time.
I must also ask Biman if today’s turnout is the “turnaround” we have been desperately looking for. He will probably agree.
Best to ask Nirupam for a conservative assessment. He must have crunched the bypoll numbers by now.
Or, should I ask Asim? In which case, I must ensure he does not mix up budget and byelection numbers.
Sushanta is out on bail. Although I shudder at his style, I heard he has started rebuilding the base there, our bastion in the good old days.
Even Mr Goon, the bumbling bobby, can solve this riddle. There were no Five Find-Outers but I alone when our party broke ground in neighbouring Jungle Mahal. You won’t read in any children’s book what all I had to do to establish the party in those Maoist-infested jungles.
In return, what do I get? Not the ice-cold lemonade that you keep reading about after each mission but a gent called Mukul who has been holding meetings in Jungle Mahal to cut me to size.
Not for nothing that I
did not play any role to
organise crowds today but left it to Mukul. Hope Didi will read my reprinted edition of Adventures in Jungle Mahal.
Oh, dear! Detective Slack, please don’t ask me again “nothing gets past you, does it”?
I did hear about the Binpur flop-show. Hope it didn’t get past Jairam either. The earnest chap has been working hard for Jungle Mahal, flying in and out as many times as I wanted. Jairam has become our central force as we try to play catch-up in Jungle Mahal.
It may have escaped you but our “sincerity” in helping the poor of the Jungle Mahal is cutting some ice with the tribals. Besides, how long can you keep hoodwinking people by making promise after promise? You don’t need my deductive powers to realise that you can’t fool all the people all the time.
She promised hospitals there after putting hurdles in the way of an AIIMS-like hospital in my territory. Don’t know how many hospitals have come up.
Dear, remind me to send a note to Jairam to make another trip to Jungle Mahal before the panchayat polls.