Survival Strategies
Suhel Seth has an unconventional take on personal problems — and their solutions
One of my friends has the irksome habit of embarrassing others. No one in our circle is spared of her sarcastic remarks and distasteful mockery. She is a helpful person otherwise and is always there in times of need but her habit of poking fun at others gets on my nerves. How should I deal with her so that our friendship is not harmed but she learns a lesson?
Name and address withheld
I think you should sit her down and begin by praising her: mention her virtues and tell her how she is scoring self-goals by being the bitch she really isn't. Tell her how all of you value her mind and her generosity but are deeply hurt by what she says. Ideally, if she is a human being, she will understand. If she doesn't then she is clearly the elephant in the room and is best avoided. Having said that, many a time you also need people who are sarcastic or else how the hell would this column have survived. Nice people are meant for Edison or the Missionaries of Charity. Not for this real world.
Ten years ago my father left us for another woman. But suddenly he wants to come back in our lives. He says he has realised his mistake and wants to make up for the time lost. My mother is keen to accept him back in our lives but I am not ready. What must I do?
Name and address withheld
Look child, if your mother wants him back, you have no business to object because you will never understand what your mother may have (and is) going through. It is very rare for men to accept their mistakes and say sorry. Most of
the time, they are plain louts. So if your Dad has realised he screwed up, then it is fair to give him one more chance and given his age, he is unlikely to find a Sharon Stone around The Lakes in Dhakuria to hitch up again with. So let things be and welcome him home. Trust me, everyone, including you, will eventually be happy.
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2pm to 6pm Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 8420738682
(2pm to 6 pm Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 am to 6 pm Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 am to 6 pm Mondays through Fridays)