Sudeep: Take my bag home. I want to play football.

Ashutosh: It’s too heavy. I can’t carry it such a long way.

Sudeep: You must take the bag or I won’t help you with your homework.

When Sudeep comes home, he finds that all his books are missing.

Sudeep: Where are my books?

Ashutosh: You told me to bring your bag. You never mentioned the books.

Abhinandan Roul, Class V, S.C.B. Medical Public School, Cuttack, Orissa

Laboni: Suman, why are you hitting Raghav?

Suman: He called me a hippopotamus last month.

Laboni: Then why are you hitting him after all this time?

Suman: Because I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a hippopotamus for the first time!

Kakoli: When is the weather intolerable for rats?

Shyamoshree: Whenever it’s raining cats and dogs.

Purnima: What is our maths teacher’s favourite dessert?

Anuradha: A Pi!

Dipshikha: Mom, today I learnt how to make the impossible possible.

Mother: How?

Dipshikha: By removing the first two letters.

Passenger: Bangalore has come! Bangalore has come!

Airhostess: Be silent.

Passenger: Angalore has come! Angalore has come!

Rajashree: What happened to the chicken who behaved badly in school?

Arjun: He was eggs-pelled.

Teacher: What do you call the outer part of a tree’s trunk?

Gauri: I don’t know, sir.

Teacher: Bark, just bark!

Student: Woof! Woof!

Man: Could you tell me the fastest way to reach the hospital?

Passerby: Of course! Just stand in the middle of this road during rush hour.

Harry: What starts with the letter P, ends with the letter E and has millions of letters?

Sanjay: Post office.

Man: Did any one of you lose a bundle of currency notes tied with a red rubber band?

Several people: Yes!

Man: Here. Take your rubber band.

Jatin: What did the frog order at McDonalds?

Soni: French flies and a diet croak.

Ramesh: I have caught a huge fish.

Kanishka: But it’s gone now.

Ramesh: What do you mean?

Kanishka: An eagle just swooped down and flew away with it.

Ramesh: Oh no! How will the eagle cook the fish? The recipe is with me!

Avik: Mom, will you please give me a stale roti for my birds?

Mother: Tomorrow; the rotis are all fresh today.

Question: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

Answer: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!