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Since 1st March, 1999
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Waiter: Sir, you are insulting me by giving me just a Rs 10 tip. Customer: How much do you expect?

Waiter: At least Rs 20, sir.

Customer: But I don’t want you to face the same insult twice over!

Debayan Chatterjee, Class V, St Joseph’s School, Siliguri, West Bengal


First salesman: I have already got three orders today.

Second salesman: What are they?

First salesman: Get out, stay out and don’t come back!

Dripta Bhattacharya, Class VII, South Point High School, Calcutta


Question: In which pool can you not swim?

Answer: Liverpool.

Jinesh Modi, Class VII, Dr Graham’s Homes, Kalimpong, West Bengal


Man: (Over the phone) Is this the librarian?

Librarian: Yes.

Man: What time does the library open?

Librarian: What’s the idea of calling me in the middle of the night to ask me this? We open at 9am. You can’t get in before that.

Man: Who said I wanted to get in? I want to get out.

Kriti Kavita, Class IV, Delhi Public School, Patna, Bihar


Doctor: Did you get this scar while you were on the football team?

Patient: No, doctor. I got it when the football team was on me.

Question: What did the gangster’s son tell his father when he failed his examination? Answer: Dad, they questioned me for three hours but I did not give in.

Mrinalini: What is the hardest thing to beat?

Saugata: A drum with a hole in it.

Principal: Why did you just cut the portrait of Picasso into three pieces?

Sudeshna: Because I wanted to make a few masterpieces.

Police officer: I will have to charge you a fine of Rs 50 for breaking this window.

Arnav: Okay, but you have to give me change for Rs 500.

Police officer: I don’t have the change, so you can break nine more windows.

Rachita: What’s red, full of seeds and looks like half a tomato? Kanishka: The other half of a tomato, of course.

Woman: Yesterday the milk curdled while I was boiling it. What do you have to say about that?

Milkman: My cow must have been eating lemons on the sly.

Man: Doctor, I think I need glasses.

Shopkeeper: You certainly do, sir. This is a stationery shop.

Reshmi: What did one lift say to the other?

Parag: I have faced a number of ups and downs in my life.

Telecaller: You will receive a million rupees if your answer to my first question is ‘no’. Are you ready?

Raj: Yes, yes!


Address your jokes to: Punch, TeleKIDS, 6 Prafulla Sarkar Street, Calcutta 700001. All entries should be on postcards. Please mention your name, class, school and home address. Or email to:

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