I am 17. Recently my boyfriend cheated on me. I dont want to go back to him. But I feel very lonely and even attempted suicide. I find it useless to stay alive. What should I do now?
Name and address withheld
Listen child, just stay alive. I cannot for the life of me read about another suicide in the papers for a silly thing called love. My advice is forget that lout and move on. There are more men than women in this blessed country of ours so you will never be out of options and in any event, cheating on a girlfriend is hardly a crime when we have survived Kalmadi and Raja so you wont even get any sympathy so just stay alive and listen to John Travolta.
I am 16. Ive unearthed a scam in school. Our headmistress is giving away the highest honours to a classmate who doesnt deserve it. Ive gathered all the proof including a teachers confession. Should I reveal this offence? Kindly help.
Name and address withheld
Wow. This is great news. You have several options. You can contact any of our esteemed news channels and they will break the news and hound that headmistress to her death. You can also approach the police but you will have to spend a fortune on them. You can also talk to Amar Singh and he will record an irresistible conversation with that headmistress, make CDs and send them to every news channel. If all else fails, you can meet me and I will tell you things that I cannot write about.
I am 43 years old. I had a crush on a girl 10 years younger for the last 15 years. I recently proposed to her only to be told that she thought of me as an elder brother and never harbour any romantic feelings for me. I am devastated. She is still unmarried but I dont think her parents would approve of me.
Akash Jena, email
Elder brother. That is as good as her thinking you were gay all this while. Look my son, life is cruel which is why I tell everyone like you, that if you love a woman, tell her sooner rather than later. The more time you take, the more their mind wanders and it is just not worth it. You have very few options at 43. Forget falling in love. Just join the Communists and that too will be as heady.
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