Teacher: Ritu, give me a sentence with a past tense, that we learned yesterday.

Ritu: But sir, I was absent yesterday.

Teacher: Very good!

Shruti Banerjee, Class V, St Joseph Convent, Chandannagore, West Bengal

Teacher: Where can the mouse run fastest?

Student: On the monitor.

Dripto Sen, Class I, St Joan’s School, Calcutta

Teacher: Where is Rajasthan?

Sonu: On page 48 of my geography book, sir.

Shivam Garg, Class IV, I.P. Memorial School, Howrah, West Bengal

Question: Why do hummingbirds hum?

Answer: They do not know the lyrics.

Wayne Oscar Brewer, Class VI, St Xavier’s Collegiate School, Calcutta

Teacher: I told you to write this poem 10 times to improve your handwriting. You have written it only 7 times.

Student: But sir, my counting skill is not good either!

Krittika Paul, Class VII, Bidya Bharati Girls’ High School, Calcutta

Teacher: Rounak, join these two sentences — I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Rounak: I saw a dead body cycling to school.

Rishav Ghosh Dastidar, Class VIII, Sri Aurobindo Vidyamandir, Chandannagore, West Bengal

An army man got promoted. On the first day in his new office a young man knocks. Wanting to impress the junior who was supposed to report to him, he picks up the phone.

Man: Come in... Yes, General, I’ll deliver that message to the President. (Hanging up) What do you want, young man?

Young man: Nothing, I just came to repair your phone.

Suchetana Chatterjee, Class IV, Gokhale Memorial Girls’ School, Calcutta

Question: When does a friend’s silence hurt a lot?

Answer: In the examination hall.

Diya Dutta, Class VIII, Saraswati Vidya Mandir, Kishanganj, Bihar

Traffic cop: Sir, you were going at 70 miles an hour!

Man: Isn’t that amazing, considering that I learned to drive just yesterday?

Sudipto Das, Class VII, Aditya Academy (Secondary), Calcutta

Teacher: What is your age?

Student: I am 14 years old, sir.

Teacher: What do you hope to be in five years?

Student: Nineteen years old, sir.

Brinto Hazra, Class VII, South Point High School, Calcutta

Sonam: Which is the oldest animal in the world?

Tina: Dinosaurs.

Sonam: No! It’s the zebra. Isn’t it black and white all over?

Sritama Mullick, Class II, Modern High School for Girls, Calcutta