(From top) Economist Amartya Sen with wife Emma Georgina Rothschild, author Jhumpa Lahiri and husband Alberto Vourvoulias, celebrity medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta with wife Rebecca, and actor Kalpen Modi, now associated with the Obama administration, at the White House. (AFP, Reuters)

A slight drizzle is falling as my Ethiopian family gives me a full-on Third World goodbye... the Mulatu sisters, little Adey who is two, and the dog, aptly named Karma, are all at the door watching as Bona, the tall dark Sudanese limo driver, holds an umbrella over my head!

“Love to the Obamas!” they yell as I disappear into a limo. It feels like I am a movie star or in a dream.…

I pinch myself and Bona laughs as he says: “Your people are blocking all our streets, you know. It used to be only for the English and French, but now India has arrived!”

She has indeed, I think as I step out at the White House East Entrance and walk up to find a group of desis waiting patiently to be let in the gates. They are in all shades of beautiful silk, some in Indian clothes, others in glamorous evening gowns. We wait until the security checks our names, looks at our IDs and then tells us to proceed. It is the first state dinner being hosted at the Obama White House and it is for the Indian Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh.

The evening begins with us waiting on the steps to be let in — thankfully, the rain has stopped but my feet are getting a bit chilly. I see Geeta Rao Gupta of the International Council for Research on Women, I see Indra Nooyi of Pepsi, I see Rajat Gupta of McKinsey, I see sharp young men who work for the justice department as lawyers, I see Urvashi Vaid of the Arcus Foundation (which supports tolerance, gay and lesbian rights, and the great apes) and her partner, a woman stand-up comic. We are still waiting. I have a faint deja vu feeling of being in Tirupati, but instead of saying “Govinda, Govinda, Govinda” I expect us to break out in chants of “Obama, Obama, Obama!”

We are moving up the steps; ahead we can see the VVIPs getting out of cars in front of the White House. Most are large black Chevy Suburbans and I wonder whether Obama has encouraged his staff to think about switching to Priuses (a hybrid car) instead. Now we are crossing the portico into the main entrance.

Right in front of me are San Francisco district attorney Kamala Harris and her sister, Maya Harris, who is a vice-president for governance and civil society at the Ford Foundation. We say hello, Kamala recognises me from San Francisco. A man behind her steps on her long black gown — she yelps and he apologises and backs away. We go through security. Behind us are Senator Daniel Innouye of Hawaii and his wife.

Designer

Rachel Roy: The California-born designer with “Indian and Dutch ancestry”, who designed a skirt that Michelle wore on Wednesday, is based in Manhattan. She launched her label in 2005 and was seen on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2007. She counts Eva Mendes, Kate Hudson, Sharon Stone and Penelope Cruz among her clients

Naeem Khan: Born in India, based in New York, Naeem designed the floor-sweeping gown with hand-cut sterling silver sequins for Michelle. The gown was reportedly made in Khan’s “family workshop in India”. Khan, who appeared on Larry King Live, said he wanted an “Indian, chic, simple but very glamorous” look for the First Lady

Smartly dressed women and men in what looks like some kind of dress uniform (except, the women are wearing it over long skirts) are shepherding us through the halls; I see pictures of the Obamas, a portrait of former First Lady and current secretary of state Hillary Clinton, a photo of Tricia Nixon’s (daughter of former President Richard Nixon) wedding in the Rose Garden.

I’m not sure where to look. I am asked if I would like to be announced; my name is read and I walk by a slew of papparazzi. Dazzling feeling, is this what movie stars experience?

I’m channelling The Princess Diaries all of a sudden — might as well have a tiara on- although I am trying hard to look as though I do this kind of thing every day. My toothy grin is too huge though, I know they can all tell that I am a total gawar (rustic) but somehow I don’t care — I’m in the Obama White House representing the Global Fund for Women, knowing that I would not be here but for the courage of local women activists who are changing the world, like the ones I just visited in rural Chingalpet and the sex workers of Chennai and the brave transgender group in Bangalore.

I’m feeling that weird feeling that comes over me every now and again: too optimistic and hopeful to allow cynicism to overtake my pleasure at events like this.

For I know there is a seamy side to Indo-US relations — I know far too much about the Indian middle-class obsession with things “amriki” — I know we cannot continue our pursuit of this unsustainable lifestyle if we have any hope for a planet that has animals, clean water, clear skies and breathable air 40 years from now. I wish India was more circumspect about rushing into a “Hindi-Yankee Bhai-Bhai” mode, especially given what we know about our neighbour Pakistan’s unstable relationship with the US.

I deplore the nuclear deal and believe it unfairly rewards India and makes a mockery of Obama’s commitment to nuclear non-proliferation. I am not a blind fan of privatisation, corporatisation, SEZs, or the horrid US-style supermarkets that have made us give up our local sabziwallahs!

But it is hard to be in a White House that is patently not so white any more and not to feel a small surge of hope; hard to shake hands with the President of the US, Barack Hussein Obama, watch him smile when I mention that I am proud to be an Indian married to a Pakistani, hear him pronounce “Pakistan” correctly and say how much he enjoyed his visit there as a student and how deeply he is committed to a vision of peace for the subcontinent.

It is hard not to feel a soft spot for the gently spoken, kind-eyed Manmohan Singh, who remembers my father immediately and is warm and genuine in the 30-second exchange on the reception line. And, when you meet the women, well, you have cause for serious optimism and hope right there. Michelle stands tall in her beautiful silvery gown designed by an Indian American, Naeem Khan, with an armful of silver bangles on her left arm. She looks like a mermaid. Her eyes twinkle when I explain I brought some bindis for Sasha and Malia and that I hope they will enjoy them.

Gursharan Kaur is her elegant self, in a lovely sari, understated and confident in its quiet colours, much like the woman who wears it with ease and a sense of being fully comfortable in her own skin.

We pass out the doors down a hall into the garden where the event is to be held under a shamiana ---- it looks more like a botanical hothouse with beautiful skylights. Very solid looking, not likely to give way to gusts or rain showers.

We walk through a magical corridor lit with floating candles and vases of beautiful greenery. It does feel like entering a garden. Inside the tent is a sight to behold ----- raw silk cushions in lime green are set off by exquisite floral centrepieces in shades of fuschia and pink ----- perfect desi mithai colours.

Speaking of mithai colours, there in the corner in cobalt blue is the secretary of state, Hillary Clinton. She has continued to be a strong advocate for women’s rights, even in her new role where showing such concern could and does often get her labelled as “soft” on the serious security questions. Geeta and I head over to say hello and thank her for continuing her commitment to the cause. I recall our first meeting in Beijing almost 15 years ago and she is quick to remind us that the Platform for Action (an agenda for women’s empowerment) from Beijing remains far from done and that women world-wide need to be more visible and acknowledged for their leadership in bringing much needed change to our world.

The two leaders begin the formal part of the evening with opening remarks. Obama quotes Nehru, “The past is over, it is the future that beckons”, but it is mild-mannered Manmohan Singh who is the orator tonight. He speaks of how Obama’s journey to the White House captured the imagination of so many in India, how it manifested the values of democracy, diversity and equal opportunity.

He refers to the Nobel Prize and acknowledges the need of the world to have the Obama healing touch and optimism. And he quotes Lincoln: “In the end it is not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years.”

We toast raising our glasses and I wonder if the Prime Minister is drinking sada pani rather than any of the fancy wines on the list. He sits down beside Michelle Obama one table away from me --– all evening I have the pleasure of watching her erect back, her head bent occasionally towards the blue turban of Singh, or over towards Nobel laureate Amartya Sen, sitting to his right.

The food is perhaps the least memorable aspect of the evening, neither desi nor really Amriki but the palest kind of fusion ---– eggplant salad, coconut aged basmati (!) green curry prawns…. The real feast, as Manmohan Singh put it elegantly at the end of the evening, was the entertainment put on by the National Symphony Orchestra, jazz by Chicago greats, Kurt Elling and Jennifer Hudson, who stole the evening with her rendition of Somewhere, which she dedicated to the First Couple.

Also the energetic CA Bhangra group who somehow blended both bhangra and cheerleading! And, our hero, A.R. Rahman, whose very being and prodigious talent should be more than enough to squelch the foolish squawks of those Indians seeking to adhere to any “narrow Hindu definition” of Indianness.

Dinner with the Obamas

The décor: Magnolia and ivy for the garden feel in the special tent the Obamas erected on their lawn so more people could be invited

The guests: Around 320, including prominent Republicans and, of course, Indian-American faces. There was Michelle’s touch — many local schoolchildren were called to the People’s House — as the Obamas like to call their address

The stars: Directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, author Jhumpa Lahiri, actor Kalpen Modi who is now part of the Obama administration, economist Amartya Sen, industrialist Ratan Tata, PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi, Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal and former US secretary of state Colin Powell to name a few

The linen: Rich, deep shades of apple green, fuschia, hues of plum and purple were used for the centrepieces and the linen on the dinner tables, each seating 10

The china: The First Couple’s practised bipartisanship was on show here. The service plates were of the Eisenhower and Clinton era — white with rich gold borders. But the Obamas did not forget predecessor George W. Bush’s collection of fine pale green china with thin gold rims that went rather well with the green linen

The music: The National Symphony Orchestra for the classical touch, Kurt Elling, from Obama’s hometown Chicago, regaled with jazz. Jennifer Hudson performed as also our own Oscar winner A.R. Rahman

The hostess: Michelle wore a shimmering sleeveless gown by Indian-American designer Naeem Khan. Earlier in the day, she was seen in a beige skirt, by another Indian, Rachel Roy, and a J. Crew cardigan

Mrs Singh: She chose the graceful Indian sari — a green silk earlier in the day and another in black that matched Mr Singh’s bandhgala

The menu: The food reflected the taste of the fitness-conscious hosts. Collard greens, curried prawns, chickpeas and okra, naan and corn bread. There was eggplant salad for starters and the sweet round-up with pumpkin pie tart. The vegetarian state guest must have delighted the Obamas

And the wine list: A 2008 sauvignon blanc from Napa Valley (Modus Operandi), a 2006 Riesling from the Willamette Valley (Brooks “Ara”), a 2007 Grenache from Santa Ynez (Beckmen Vineyards) and sparkling chardonnay from Monticello (Thibaut-Janisson Brut)