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YAWN MATES

When the only things you find yourself looking forward to are Sohail Khan’s goofy-bordering-on-the-irritating antics and Bappi Lahiri’s Bhindi (Bangla-accented Hindi, sillies!) in a Salman Khan-Kareena Kapoor romance with appearances from Preity Zinta and Deepika Padukone thrown in, you know that something is not quite right with Main Aurr Mrs Khanna.

Ridiculous in its premise, downright boring for the most part and a king-sized disappointment overall, Main Aurr Mrs Khanna is like a damp firecracker that flickers with promise at the start but then fizzles out. Less than 10 minutes into the film, you find yourself staring longingly at the exit door or thinking about what to order for lunch (at 10am!).

The biggest problem with Main Aurr Mrs Khanna is its half-baked plot and inconsistent screenplay. The film unfolds in Dalhousie where rich dude Samir (Salman) meets orphan Raina (Kareena). Less than a minute later, the two become Mr and Mrs Khanna and move to picturesque Melbourne (two thumbs up for Sudeep Chak De! India’s cinematography).

Main Aur Mrs Khanna (U/A)
Director: Prem Soni
Cast: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Sohail Khan, Yash Tonk, Preity Zinta, Deepika Padukone, Bappi Lahiri

Things quickly stop being hunky-dory between the two. Samir loses his job and his professional frustrations start creeping into his personal life. The couple decide to start afresh in Singapore but inexplicably the husband deserts the wife at the airport and flies off alone. Instead of flying back to India, Raina decides to stay put in Melbourne. She takes up a job at the airport itself. Along the way, she gets a shoulder to cry on in the form of Akash (Sohail Khan) who secretly falls in love with her. Samir resurfaces and then it is up to Raina to make a choice between the two men.

If you walk into Main Aurr Mrs Khanna expecting a Woh Saat Din or a Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, then be warned. The simplistic handling of a largely grave theme will leave you cringing in your seat. Lack of drama and debutant director Prem Soni’s predilection to resort to the contrived and convenient at regular intervals are the other sore points. And then there are those million loopholes in the plot. Jobless Samir and waitress Raina live in a mansion and feast on hors d’oeuvre and champagne. Raina works in an airport duty-free shop and her apartment has a fancy chandelier and a grand piano. Samir returns within a month, so rich that he buys a star in his wife’s name from NASA (yes, the NASA!).

For a film that is essentially a romance, Salman and Kareena are as thanda as thanda can get. All those who had expected the Sallu-Bebo chemistry to have grown from the tepid Kyon Ki four Diwalis ago, the interaction between the two is a huge disappointment. Even the “Main tumhara bedroom mein intezaar kar raha hoon” is said and met with such disinterest that you can only yawwwwn. Looking for some real chemistry? Watch Salman’s 10-second jig with Preity (who attempts a temptress act with her Kajra re-inspired number, but falls short).

If Sallu was seen having a blast in Wanted four Fridays ago, here he sleepwalks through his role. Kareena’s performance is earnest but she is let down by a poorly written character with poorly written dialogues. Sohail and his sidekick (played by TV actor Yash Tonk) do bring on some belly laughs, but there is only so much that you can take of the two.

It is only Bappi Lahiri whose gold jewellery and sparkling dialogue delivery that lights up Main Aurr Mrs Khanna. And when he says, “ Tumhara maaann mein toh laaaadoo phooot raaaha hoga,” you fall in love with the disco king all over again.

Sajid-Wajid’s music score fails to impress — none more so than Happening.

In the end, what can we say about Main Aurr Mrs Khanna? NOT happening!

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