Control tower (to pilot): Please report your height and position.

Pilot: I am 5 ft 11 inches tall and I am in the cockpit.

Mainak Tarafdar, Class VIII, Calcutta Boys’ School, Calcutta

Beggar: Give this blind beggar a rupee.

Passerby: But you can see with one of your eyes.

Beggar: Then please give this beggar 50 paise.

Guneet Singh, Class V, St Xavier’s Collegiate School, Calcutta

Rini: Does your watch tell the time?

Mini: No, it doesn’t. You have to look at it.

Soni Hiranandani, Class V, St Joseph’s School, Calcutta

After teaching the chapter on gravity the teacher asked one of the the students,

‘‘Why does a mango fall to the ground instead of going up in the sky?’’

The student replied, ‘‘Because there’s nobody to eat the mango in the sky.’’

Varsha Mahato, Class VIII, Central Modern School, Calcutta

The students had been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them to buy a copy of the group photograph.

Teacher: Just think how nice it would be to look at it when you’re grown up and say, ‘There’s Pushpa, she’s married’ or ‘Shankar, an IAS officer...’.

Boy: And there’s the teacher. She’s dead.

Raktotpal Gogoi, Class VII, Delhi Public School, Nazira, Assam

Doctor: What’s your problem?

Patient: I have a lot of difficulty in breathing.

Doctor: I’ll stop it completely.

Pritam Pathak, Class VII, Army School, Barrackpore

Soldier: Sir, I can’t fight for my country anymore.

Major: Why? What’s wrong?

Soldier: My distant vision is very poor. I won’t be able to see the enemy.

Major: Don’t worry. I’ll send you as the leading man in the front line.

Rini Khan, Class IV, St Stephen’s School, Calcutta

First Man: Why are all these people running?

Second Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

First man: Oh, then why are the others running?

Suman Dhar, Class VIII, Uttarpara Amarendra Vidyapith, West Bengal

Father: Why did you get such a low score in the test?

Son: Due to absence.

Father: Were you absent on the day of the test?

Son: No, but the boy who sits next to me was!

Rinita Saha, Class I, St Jude’s High School, Madhyamgram, West Bengal

Father: Don’t touch the dog’s tail. It may bite you.

Son: Father, have you ever seen a dog’s tail biting anyone?

Trishila Roy, Class VI, Calcutta Girls’ School, Calcutta