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Punch

The office manager looked towards his secretary and found her absorbed in painting her fingernails.

Manager: Miss Bright, I’d like to compliment you on your work. But when are you going to do any?

MANAV MIRCHANDANI, Class VIII, La Martiniere for Boys, Calcutta

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.

At bedtime, the two boys knelt down beside their beds to say their prayers. The younger one began praying at the top of his voice, ‘‘I pray for a new bicycle. I pray for a new Nintendo...’’. His older brother leaned over, nudged his younger brother, and asked, ‘‘Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.’’

The little brother replied, ‘‘No, but Grandma is!’’

HARSH GUPTA, Class VII, South Point High School, Calcutta

Teacher: What do you want to be, Rohan?

Rohan: A teacher, Ma’am.

Teacher: Very good. But why do you want to be a teacher?

Rohan: Ma’am, I wouldn’t have to study any more. I'd know everything.

ARCHISMAN PODDER, Class VI, St Mary’s Orphanage and Day School, Calcutta

Teacher: Abhishek, all your answers are correct. But the problem is, your handwriting is hardly legible!

Abhishek: I will definitely ask my father to improve his handwriting.

PRASENJIT DAS, Class V, The Assam Valley School, Assam

Question: How do witches and wizards stay in touch?

Answer: Through spell phones.

RITESH DASGUPTA,Class VI, Delhi Public School, New Town, Kolkata

Teacher: Who signed America’s Declaration of Independence?

Rina: I don’t know, Ma’am.

Rina’s father is summoned.

Teacher (to her father): I had asked her, who signed America’s Declaration of Independence. She could not answer the question.

Father: Rina, if you have signed it, why don’t you just own up?

RESHMI DAS, Class VIII, Kanchrapara Harnett English Medium School,
Halishahar, West Bengal

Father: Piya, what will you become when you grow up?

Piya: I don’t know. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait till I grow up.

AGAMANI CHOUDHURY, Class VII, Holy Child H.S. School, Guwahati

Customer: How much is that goat?

Butcher: Rs 500.

Customer: And the other one there?

Butcher: Rs 600.

Customer: What is the difference? The second one is only half the size of the first.

Butcher: That’s because the second has eaten my 100-rupee note.

PUSPITA PAUL, Class VI, St Joseph’s Convent School, Tezpur, Assam

Teacher: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbour?

Student: Because it can’t sit.

KUMARESH HALDER, Class VIII, St Anthony’s School, Kurseong

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