The two sides of Hannah Montana

As Kevin Arnold shared his first, bittersweet kiss with Winnie Cooper, we watched with a lump in our throats and a smile on our lips. Most of us who grew up with the touching American TV show The Wonder Years, can think back now and say yes, we know how that feels. And wasn’t it lovely.

Whether parents like it or not, the first kiss remains one of the major landmarks in a teenager’s life. And there are others, most of which would not meet with the approval of elders. But tell that to the teens and all you’re likely to get is more of the same, for aren’t most rites of passage as much about rebellion as they are an exercise of sovereign rights?

For the most part, however angst-riddled they may seem, teens are a responsible lot. Just look at the t2 cover of Hannah Montana, who, played by Miley Cyrus in the popular Disney show, struggles to balance her glamorous pop star secret identity by night with everyday coming-of-age trials by day. She is

almost a superhero, as must be most of her real-life counterparts. The road to adulthood is a challenging one.

So what do you have to do to become a Real Man (or Woman)? While Rudyard Kipling says that all it takes is keeping your head “when all about you are losing theirs”, it is the far smaller matters that seem to count most for the young people. Some of the hottest few are explored here. Parents beware: the contents that follow may prove to be disturbing.

First drink and first cigarette

Despite the best efforts of the health ministry, a puff of the first cigarette still counts as one of the most powerful “I have arrived” moments. “There is nothing like the first puff. I was in Class VI then and we had finally made it to the senior school building. We felt we had finally grown up, and we could do anything — now is the time for us to watch porn, have girlfriends and take up smoking,” says 28-year-old Pomy Bose, currently pursuing a CA degree.

The cigarette has always been all about rebellion. “It felt great. With those two Benson and Hedges that I had in a row, I got a feeling of being a rebel. I was somehow not conforming to what people expected out of a girl,” says Sanjukta Roy (name changed), second-year student of St Xavier’s College.

Winnie Cooper and Kevin Arnold

For Ushnota Paul, third-year student of South City College, the first cigarette was not about growing up, but about heartbreak. “I smoked because I was depressed. I had broken up with my boyfriend, and I used to hate the fact that he smoked,” she says.

But isn’t heartbreak a sign of arrival at adulthood? Pomy agrees: “My first drink was for a planned revenge plot where I’d create a scene in front of my girlfriend and escape blame by saying I had no control for I was drunk. So I bought a nip of whisky. But that didn’t stop me from chickening out. I was high so I went to Vivekananda Park, lay down on the grass till I was sober and then came back home.”

First outing alone

Going out with people of your own age group for the first time without adult supervision may seem like a relatively mundane thing looking back, but for the shackled youth, it’s a memorable moment. For Sanjukta, it was a trip to Nicco Park in a group of four while in Class X. “It was a big deal then. To travel from central Calcutta to Nicco Park without elders seemed like a big achievement.”

It was big moment for Pomy, too, since he managed to pack in other firsts like smoking his first cigarette and watching his first ‘adult’ film, all to make for one memorable day.

“My friends and I put together an end-of-exams party. It was the first late-night party that we organised,” says 28-year-old Melvin Clayburn, an executive at a regional channel.

First shopping spree

Remember those odious trips to buy new clothes with parents in tow before the Pujas? It was never the indulgence it should have been, with mom looking over your shoulder to vet your hemlines and price tags! And then, remember going shopping with friends, giggling over the ugly clothes and convincing your best bud to buy a skimpy top that she looked so good in?

Whether it was hours spent window-shopping without a rupee in your pocket, or being entrusted with cash to bring home clothes of your choice, they are both milestones. Manjashree Roy, a 23-year-old data analyst, remembers scouring “at least three malls” one Saturday afternoon for her haul of kurtis and tops. “I was in the second year of college and it felt great getting in and out of my friend’s car. We kept on trying clothes, drove shop attendants insane and acted like complete brats. I was 19 and was used to monthly pocket money of Rs 200. So the Rs 2,000 that I was given to shop for Puja clothes gave me license to act like the snotty rich kid I never got to be otherwise. We walked around like we were Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman with tons of shopping bags,” she laughs.

Nothing can quite beat the feeling of spending your money on the thing you’ve yearned for forever but were never allowed to buy, feels software professional Nilesh Viswanathan, 28. “I bought a book on astronomy for Rs 5,000 from the Book Fair. It may seem trivial now, but it was a major moment for me. I spent all the cash I got for my thread ceremony on this one thing and I was thrilled with my purchase.”

First cool gadget

You haven’t really arrived till you have in your possession the ‘it’ tech gadget. For mass communication student Devina Sen, 20, it was the iPod, like so many of her age. “I spent all the money that I earned during my internship on that iPod. All my friends had one,” she smiles.

For Sanjukta, it was her cellphone. “The mobile phone made a big difference. It felt like I was making a foray into the world of adults,” she relives.

Though the ‘it’ gadget may have been upgraded over the years, its power is unchanged. “I remember when we first got a stereo. It was a BPL Double Deck and my first cassette was Michael Jackson’s Thriller. It made me the coolest person in my class,” recalls Pomy.

First salary

It might remind you of Nirupa Roy and a Bollywood hero who buys a sari for his mother with his pehli kamayi, but life can be corny, too. For Ushnota it was the moment when her almost 24x7 schedule of working in a call centre at night and shooting in the morning while still in college that yielded a first salary.

For Manjashree, the feeling of adulthood was ushered in when she fished out her credit card to buy her father a kurta from FabIndia. “It was quite some time after I had started working. One day my mom and I ganged up against my father and decided to revive his gasping wardrobe of one kurta and few boxy shirts and a few trousers. And I felt this quiet glow while taking out the card when we stood at the counter to pay.”

Nothing proves you are grown up more than a role reversal. Your parents no longer dress you — now you dress your parents.

First date and first kiss

For Nilesh, the first date with a girl (now his wife) is etched forever in his memory. “Her family was very conservative. And I remember being very excited and scared that her family or mine would spot us. We went out for a Hindi movie with Tabu in it. (That’s all he remembers. The plot didn’t register!) We held hands in the hall and kept checking to see if anyone we knew saw us. We went out for dosa afterwards.”

Dating seems to make men out of boys. “You pick the girl up. You drop her back home. In a way, you learn to become responsible for another person,” explains Melvin.

And then there is the first kiss. “I was in love for the first time. He was my first boyfriend. And it’s something that remains as a special memory. It gives you the feeling of being a woman, no longer a girl,” says Ushnota.

There are other firsts too. Most of them are best not mentioned as the parents, no matter how colourful their own exploits have been, seem to have selective amnesia about it all once they rear children of their own.

We’ll leave them with their rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia, and also with these words spoken by Walt Disney: “Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They forget. They don’t remember what it’s like to be 12 years old.”