A recent Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supplying a new definition. Here are the 2008 winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts till you realise it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone Layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And, the pick of the lot...

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

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