A new business-suit, made by a designer in the west, converts into evening-wear when you want it to. That makes us want more. We alone don’t want to multi-task — our clothes and accessories must do so too! A t2 wish list
A deodorant that doubles as a pepper spray:
It will insure ladies against both situations that befall them when they are out to party. If she falls into the arms of Mr Right, she will smell right. But if she falls into the arms of Mr Jerk, the Groper, Mr Feeler, The-Man-Who-Makes-Passes, incessantly, or The-Man-Who-Breathes-Heavily-Down-Your-Neck and refuses to go away, out comes the deo. It has a second, hidden nozzle that snaps out and spits pepper into the eyes of the enemy. Make sure he doesnt wear specs. Then press your thumb lightly.
An ATM card that is a credit and debit card as well as an ID card:
Yes, diving into your carry-all tote or desi jhola and coming up with the wrong card every time makes you a loser. You are late at work, of course, face-to-face with the swipe machine, and the security person has his eyes fixed on you disapprovingly, other employees have queued up behind you and are fidgeting and out comes the ATM card from the depths of your handbag. Or its the first day of the month, and you are at the ATM, and you finally walk through the glass door, and voila! you have been holding your office ID card so long! Life is unfair. But if there was only one card to carry? It would really be worth wearing round your neck.
Sandals that turn into stilettos:
Some women can, but not all. Its difficult to imagine a whole day on stilettos. They are squeakier than Sachin Tendulkar. They can hurt more than pay-cuts. But if you wear sneakers or floaters to work, you may not be able to walk into a club, disco or even a private party later in them, for everyone will contemplate your feet. So sandals should double as stilettos. When they are sandals, they are sandals, but a tiny button on the sole brings out the heels. Perfect with gin and tonic.
Lipstick that is candy:
The insides of many women will have at least 5kg of lipstick as sediment. It has accumulated from the time she first licked her painted lips. Therell be significant deposits in the stomachs of some men too. Yes, lipsticks should also be candies — in all the colours of the rainbow and all the flavours of the world — orange, flaming red, pink, lemon and pink-and-lemon too. Smelling of chocolate chip ice cream, mishti doi, bacon and French fries. But only artificial sweeteners please.
A pen that is a recorder:
A must for secretaries and mediapersons. The pen will have a recorder on the top. The switch will be on the clip. If you dont feel like writing, or the dictation/speech is too fast for you, you can just switch on the recorder. It can also serve as a back-up, and no one can deny what one has once said. Good for blackmail.
A bag that can be unzipped to form a cover:
This is for when you are cold or desperately need a cover-up. Therell be a few strategically-placed zips, covered under colourful stitches and embellishments. Zip it up and you have a bag, unzip it and you have a beautiful long scarf that you can drape round your shoulders.
A car that can paddle through water and fly in a traffic jam:
Pure fantasy, but this is what Calcutta dreams of. It will come with an ultra-cool control panel that will not need the driver to get more training. And the city will be — a whole new world, A dazzling place I never knew. Unbelievable sights. Indescribable feelings. Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling, through an endless diamond sky. We will need flyovers no more.