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SHE’S WHACKY, HE’S WACKO
Mallika Sherawat and Ranvir Shorey

t2 was privy to a random chat between Ranvir Shorey and Mallika Sherawat about their new film Ugly Aur Pagli. While the slap count didn’t reach 99, it certainly hit double digits. Excerpts from the chat...

Ranvir: Mallika is Ugly!

Mallika: I’m Ugly and Ranvir is Pagli!

Ranvir: Yes I am Pagli and she’s Ugly…

(Mallika slaps Ranvir)

Mallika: Was it done nicely?

Ranvir: Now this is exclusive for you guys… role reversal...

(Ranvir slaps Mallika)

Ranvir: I have had a lot in the film... I am Ugly obviously and she’s Pagli… not so obviously…

Mallika: What’s not so obvious about it?

Ranvir: You are hardly insane…

Mallika: Please Ranvir you are old fashioned!

Ranvir: Are you insane?

(Mallika slaps Ranvir)

Ranvir: Now this was the second slap….

Mallika: In the film I have slapped you 100 times.... More than 100 actually.

Ranvir: No no that’s only the tagline for the film!

Mallika: No matter how much clarification you give but you have had some 100 slaps…

Ranvir: In the film? Which film are you talking about? Did we work together in the film?

Mallika: But why are all the romantic films so mushy mushy and soft? Why can’t there be some violence in it? In Ugly Aur Pagli, there’s everything, slaps, slaps, slaps so much violence you see…

Ranvir: Yes, Mallika likes it… when she is whacked around a little bit in romance. So we have taken the idea to make this film. While making the film, our roles got reversed and I had to bear all the slaps.

Mallika: I love violence…

Ranvir: Ugly Aur Pagli is a story of two brats actually… Kabir, the character I am playing, is the only child of his middle-class Maharashtrian parents.

Mallika: Who has failed four times in engineering… and who never had a girlfriend and suddenly he gets Pagli who is a psycho kind of character, who looks quite hot and attractive but Kabir realises that he can’t stay with this girl and wants to get rid of her but he cannot.

Ranvir: Kuhu is also a brat much like Kabir… She’s also the only child of her Bong parents. So I think basically they have some things in common but at the same time are very different from each other.

Mallika: To prepare for this role I got in touch with the devilish and mean side of me.

Ranvir: That would have been easy.

Mallika: Very easy and great fun as well.

Ranvir: As far as the title is concerned don’t you think this title has a history? Like Heer Ranjha, Laila Majnu, Neal & Nikki… Ugly Aur Pagli…!!

Mallika: Don’t give publicity to other films...

(Mallika slaps Ranvir)

Ranvir: This is the sixth time you are hitting me, haan. Three more are left. The 10th one would be from me and that one would be enough.

Mallika: Don’t threaten me… I am not scared.

Ranvir: Stop slapping me now, the shooting for the film is over. This is real life now…

Mallika: You keep quiet… Who do you think you are? Will take off your glasses.

Ranvir: Clothes clothes… Please remove my clothes also...

Mallika: Koi toing idea dimaag mein aaya na… toh bharta bana doongi… In the film, Ranvir has done a lots of crazy things for me, like he’s worn my heals — my six-inch heels — and roamed around!

Ranvir: How do you walk in those heels?

Mallika: All the girls wear heels and walk like that only…

Ranvir: I think you girls just constantly balance yourself… No wonder you girls get annoyed with people so easily. Someone calls from behind and you trip.

Mallika: We have to take care of our figure, need to be in fashion.

Ranvir: Figure will get maintained on its own… you people are constantly exercising by balancing on the heels!

Mallika: Half the time you had to carry me! What a heavy load you had to carry on your back…

Ranvir: Yes. That’s true… Mallika is very heavy… and I don’t mean just mentally…

(Mallika slaps Ranvir)

Ranvir: Personally I like quirky women but I am not too sure if I like aggressive women… I like women who have a combination of being independent and being vulnerable too... Independent makes you feel why am I here and vulnerable makes you feel why she’s here...

Mallika: But Kabir is also sadistic! Like when he challenges Kuhu in the film that if you can’t do this, you have to be my slave all your life and if anyone hears that challenge, they will be shocked. Now please tell people what challenge it was...

Ranvir: The challenge is to come to college without clothes!

Mallika: Don’t lie, that’s not the challenge! (Mallika slaps Ranvir)

Ranvir: Now this is the last slap, haan… Okay, in the film, Kabir challenges Kuhu to go to college in undergarments…

Mallika: Don’t use such words please, kids would be reading this… I hope I find a guy like Kabir.

Ranvir: No one will bear so many slaps.

Mallika: Why not? All couples fight.

Ranvir: But here it’s not fighting, literally slapping.

Mallika: So what? A girl can always slap a guy.

Ranvir: And a guy can’t slap the girl?

Mallika: No!

Ranvir: Why not? All are equal now...

Mallika: Now Ranvir please don’t be mean and say some good things about me.

Ranvir: Oh it was wonderful to work with Mallika. Tell me why else would I have been ready to bear so much of brunt? God knows how many times I got slapped!

Mallika: He is one of the finest actor we have.

Ranvir: And bravest as well.

Mallika: Yes, the bravest as well. All the girls will fall in love with him after watching the film. My cousin sisters and mom have already fallen in love with him.

Ranvir: Who will not like a guy who takes so many slaps, araam se?

Did you like Ugly Aur Pagli? Tell t2@abpmail.com

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