Street performer: I will swallow 500g of coal, 200 nails, 700 stones and finally top it all up with four swords. Then I’ll come to everyone with my hat to raise enough money for a square meal.

A voice in the crowd: What? Will you still be hungry?

MANISH MISHRA, Class VII , Kendriya Vidyalaya, I.I.T. campus, Kharagpur

Question: What do you call a crazy man who goes into space?

Answer: An astro-nut!

NIHAL PRAKASH, Class VIII, La Martiniere for Boys, Calcutta

What did the gangster’s son tell his father when he failed his examination?

Son: Dad, they questioned me for three whole hours, but I didn’t tell them a thing.

HARDIC BHATTACHARYA, Class VII, Patha Bhavan High School, Calcutta

Sara: What is a cow’s favourite outing?

Ben: What?

Sara: Going to the moovies, of course!

ARJUN SINHA, Class VII, St Xavier’s School, Purulia

Shopkeeper: Would you like to buy a pocket calculator, Sir?

Rahul: No thanks. I know very well how many pockets I have.

SAYON MANDAL, Class VII, Ramakrishna Mission Vidyapith, Deoghar

Teacher: Draw a micro-organism.

After some time:

Teacher: Why have you submitted a blank sheet of paper, Rohan?

Rohan: But Ma’am, you cannot see a micro-organism with the naked eye, can you?

ANISHA DAS, Class VI, St Thomas’ Girls’ High School, Calcutta

Rina: What did you learn in school today?

Tina: Not enough. I’m afraid I’ll have to go back tomorrow.

DIBYENDU PUSTI, Class VIII, KTPP High School, Mecheda, East Midnapore

Rakesh and Mohan were fighting when the teacher caught them.

Teacher: What’s the matter, boys?

Rakesh (Promptly, and determined to impress): Matter is something that has weight and occupies space, Sir.

NANDINI ACHARJEE, Class VI, Carmel Convent High School, Durgapur MAMC

Teacher: What is the best way of keeping milk from going off?

Student: Letting it remain inside the cow, Ma’am.

SHRISTI AGARWAL, Class V, Assembly of God Church, Asansol

Raju’s mother asked him to go to a shop and buy a cheap umbrella. Raju:Please can I have an inexpensive umbrella?

Shopkeeper: Here’s the umbrella you want. It’s dirt cheap. But save it from the rain and the sun.

JASHOMOTI SINHA, Class V, Modern English Academy, Barrackpore