A still from Taare Zameen Par, a movie where a father’s insensitivity towards an autistic child was highlighted

Parents of an autistic child must educate themselves on Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD). This will help them search for solutions better. Instead of blaming your fate, observe your child’s behaviour. You may get answers to many of your queries.

Parents can furnish educators with valuable inputs for a successful intervention programme. There is a reason behind every mood of an autistic child. He may want to croon the whole day, answer in a singsong tone or communicate through drawings.

An ignorant parent may think the child will “be normal” in due course. If a child does not learn to speak within the expected time, for instance, a parent may not think it a cause for worry. But in reality he is just wasting precious time by delaying the intervention programme.

Parents must learn more about the disorder from the Internet, social workers, caregivers, special educators, magazines, news journals and also by participating in workshops, or exchanging views with experts. Well-informed parents act as messengers between an autistic child and society, creating awareness about the disorder and paving the way for his acceptance in society. Do not hide your special child from the world. They have a right to enjoy normal life.

An ignorant parent can get unnecessarily frustrated about his child’s non-achievement. Often parents ask if their child looks like a normal kid, why he can’t behave like one. Why is there a communication gap and a breakdown of social norms in his case? The sooner parents accept the reality — that the child has difficulty in developing relationships or emotional bonds — the better they can work towards a solution. Let us not shut our eyes like an ostrich in a desert.

Mainstream schools will not be able to provide them with the necessary guidance. Children with severe deficiency in communication and social skills do well in a specially-equipped school. They need quiet around them, an environment free from sound and visual obstacles, (bright light and colourful pictures). Crowd and unfamiliar faces create havoc in their mind. It is practically not possible for a mainstream school to provide predictable situations everyday.

A parent may think that since his child is intelligent he has a right to go to a regular school, despite his overpowering sensory discrimination. In the name of inclusion, parents do a lot of harm to their children.

Teachers of regular schools are not tuned to the discomforts of autistic kids. Change is a difficult thing for such kids to accept. Going from a yoga session on the terrace to a language class in the ground floor makes them confused. They feel lost and anxious. Unable to communicate their difficulties, they may start screaming, shrieking or throwing tantrums. If there is a sudden change in the regular routine, the music teacher failing to come one day for instance, the autistic child may get upset.

There are some autistic children who can merge with the regular ones. But even they need to be explained why there is a sudden change in the school timetable and what is going to happen next. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome benefit most in the inclusive environment though they too suffer from anxiety syndrome and a shift from the old routine can make them apprehensive.

Parent’s role

Space problems, lack of trained educators and special teaching apparatus makes regular schools unfit for autistics. Unfortunately, most parents want their child to follow lectures and take notes like any other student. I hardly come across a parent who asks his child’s teacher: “Did my child enjoy the music session?” or “Was he calm during assembly?” Help teachers by furnishing information about your child’s behaviour. Do not leave everything to them.Talk to other parents and see what they plan for their autistic child.

You are not alone in this world, there are people to share your grief and anxiety. Never forget that children with autism need a protective environment.

Send queries to ttmetro@abpmail.com or krishnaroy_2001@ yahoo.com

Shout out loud

What’s on your mind this week

Fairness fetish

Remember a fairness cream advertisement where a dark woman blossoms into a fair air hostess and makes her parents forget the grief of not having a son? Another dark one becomes a cricket commentator and the third bags a film role. All the three Cinderellas hailed from a similar social background — the great Indian middle class.

No matter how much the country has progressed in recent times, the middle-class mindset of the sixties and the seventies is still alive. Fair skin is considered an asset in India.

I was surfing the matrimonial columns recently. There were several professionals seeking alliances and most wanted fair women.

Why are we so obsessed with fair skin? During the British Raj the dark-skinned natives were discriminated against. In independent India fair people have the edge. How long are we going to act like fools?

Soham Gupta