Ali Saleem (top) and him (below) dressed as Begum Nawazish Ali. Picture by Sudeshna Banerjee

Get me a tissue please,” says a voice, silken and smoky. Two men almost trip over each other in trying to oblige. That is the effect Begum Nawazish Ali has on men. But the luscious lady in a parrot green Neeta Lulla sari seeking the tissue is no different for them — a strapping 29-year-old man who stands at 5.9 inches when he doesn’t put on those three-inch translucent heels!

Between Ali Saleem’s being and becoming lies such a jaw-dropping chasm (the process takes three hours, says an insider). Pakistan’s sensational cross-dressing talk show host has crossed yet another border and landed in India with her signature show, Begum. (S)He preens and pouts, courts and conquers, at 10pm every Saturday on 9X.

Forever switching between two countries and identities, Begum is a busy bee. “She is also a bit naive,” Saleem reflects, briefly stepping away from his persona. “When I play Begum, it is a celebration of my feminine side. I have always liked beautiful women — my mother, Benazir, Indira Gandhi, Diana....”

Ali Saleem loves saris (“It makes me feel complete”). He started experimenting with his mother’s dupattas as a child. “I was so creative, jaani,” the fruity voice bubbles at the merry memories.

Yet, two-and-a-half years ago, when he conceived and sold the idea of Begum Nawazish Ali to Pakistan’s Aaj TV, Saleem’s friends panicked after two of her shows were beamed. “They said, ‘Ali, are you mad? This is Pakistan. They won’t let you live’.” The cocktail of probing, hard-hitting questions and double entendres was too much for even some of the interviewees. “Once I had Sheikh Rashid Ali, our version of your Lalu Prasad Yadav, along with a film actress on the show. My questions on corruption got too much for him and he left midway.”

In India, though, he means just to have fun. “Allah ka shukar hai, you’ve never had an army taking over. Pakistan needed a Begum. But I have less of a political agenda here,” he says, adding that the barbs would come out of the bag only if a Bal Thackerey or a Narendra Modi were called on the show. For now, her guests have been the likes of David Dhawan (hitting on her on camera!), Gulshan Grover (blushing at the Begum’s attention), Pooja Bhatt (begging her to sign a film), Rakhi Sawant.... “Rakhi told me that had she been a man she would have kissed me. I told her ki kar lo na. Man-woman, these days those things don’t matter, hai na?” the Begum asks, oh-so-innocently.

The Begum’s favourite men are John Abraham (“But Bipasha’s got him; I must find a way to eliminate her”) and Mahendra Singh Dhoni (“I’d love to have him on my show. But these cricketers are so greedy! If I meet him I’d tell him jaani, mere saarey diamonds hum tere hawale kar denge, tu ek baar aa to ja”).

Many men would offer the Begum that and more in Pakistan. “Even when I am walking down the street in my old pair of jeans and sporting a six-day-old stubble, I have had youths propositioning me. They don’t want to believe I’m a man!”

As he checks with the make-up artist “Meri lipstick theek hai, na?”, he also yearns for a puff. “You mind if I smoke? It’s not easy being a woman, jaani, all your threading and waxing and getting ears pierced...”

The next moment the Begum is back, coiffured and composed.

“I live my two selves to the fullest, within and without. I am an exhibitionist all the way,” Saleem signs off, triumphantly.