Rakhi Sawant: two much

Ektaa Kapoor: TV trauma

Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag: rubbish remakes

Britney Spears: not again!

Ticket to Hollywood: say no to Hinglish

Narendra Modi masks: Ugh!

There has been a little too much of the following in 2007. In the new year, we don’t want to see any repeat of…

Rakhi Sawant

She invaded our homes in 2007 — first with Bigg Boss, followed by Koffee with Karan and finally ending the year with Nach Baliye 3. She dropped her clothes, dropped her silicone, and let loose her tongue. She cried foul on losing out in the Nach Baliye finals. She ‘acted’ in a disaster called Buddha Mar Gaya. On Nach Baliye 3, she cried, she abused others and got on the audience’s nerves. “My body is western but my heart is purely Indian,” she said. The twain should never have met.

Ektaa Kapoor

She just refuses to go. Long locks and smug expression in place, the queen bee of Indian television terrorises not only the people who work for her, but also the audience at large. With her brand of regressive soaps and even more regressive protagonists, Ektaa Kapoor is someone that we could well do without in the next year. Many of us would start watching television then.

Bollywood remakes

Some — like the 2006 Don — were smart. Most — like Victoria No. 203 in 2007 — were miserable. But the one Bollywood remake that will go down in history as being blasphemous is Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag, a disaster that was marketed as a modern-day Sholay. And with 2008 crammed with Bollywood remakes — the most significant being the remake of Karz with (hold your breath) Himesh Reshammiya in the lead (let it out, through your nose), it’s time to bid adieu to Bollywood remakes. And yes, with remakes, Ram Gopal Varma should go too.

Shilpa Shetty

The Celebrity Big Brother win not only momentarily resurrected Shilpa Shetty’s non-happening Bollywood career, it also made her an overnight sensation in Britain. From meeting Queen Elizabeth II to addressing the House of Commons to launching her own perfume to the infamous Richard Gere controversy, Shilpa has been everywhere in 2007. She has done so much, why can’t she give us a break and settle down with Raj Kundra?

The Beckhams

From making Los Angeles their new home to the Spice Girls — of which Victoria Beckham is a member — staging a comeback tour, 2007 suffered an overdose of anorexic Posh and overexposed David. In 2008, we would rather have more of some other celebrity sports couple. Kaka and his pretty wife would be more than welcome.

Britney Spears

In 2007, Britney Spears spent time in rehab, shaved off her head,uncrossed her legs and lost custody of her sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline. In 2008, she is sure to do much more. We want to be spared.

English lyrics in Hindi songs

You’re my mind-blowing mahiya, Do you wanna partner and Ticket to Hollywood rocked the charts in 2007. They made us forget English.

Moto Yuva ad

A father gifts a Moto Yuva phone to his simpleton of a teenage son along with a plastic of Paris replica of his own head, in a bid to keep the son from spending too much time with his phone. But the son, so enamoured of his new phone, doesn’t even raise an eyebrow when the father’s head rolls on the floor! It’s not funny. There’s no irony. We would rather do without ads than have ads like this one. Or sons like this.

Beads

Those long strands of beads that have been encircling your neck for the past two years have had their fashion fill. They symbolised casual chic and ruled every spot — from street bazaars to boutique racks to Bollywood. But that was the past. The classic mood is coming back in 2008. The fashion feel next year, say designers, should be clean and clutter-free — more so since the jewellery focus has shifted from the ear to the neck.

Narendra Modi masks

Worst accessories of the year. They were on every news channel — and more frightening than the masks at Halloween. Just go.