Silence.

BOY 2: Suppose... suppose... No, it won’t do.

BOY: What won’t do?

BOY 2: No, it’s a silly idea.

BOY: Tell us the idea and...

GIRL: ... we’ll decide whether it’s silly or not.

BOY 2: Well... promise you won’t laugh.

BOY and GIRL: Promise. Cross out hearts.

BOY 2: My idea was... Suppose our elephant was not an elephant but something else.

BOY: Something else?

BOY 2: Something else like... like a kitten or a puppy or a...

GIRL: Then?

BOY 2: Then people will want him as a pet, won’t they? Lots of people have pet cats and dogs, don’t they?

The BOY and the GIRL burst out laughing.

GIRL: You want to turn Elphie into a kitten? That’s really funny... really, really funny.

BOY: Why don’t we turn him into an old coin? Lots of people collect old coins.

BOY 2: If you think my idea is so funny and laugh so much even when you promised not to, then... (starts to leave)

The GIRL abruptly stops laughing.

GIRL: I’m sorry. That was nasty of me. I’m sorry.

BOY: I’m sorry too. Please don’t leave.

Pause.

GIRL: Actually, when I think of it, your idea is not bad... But we need...

BOY: ... a magician.

GIRL: That’s right. We need a magician.

Enter MAGICIAN (MAG), a strange-looking man wearing strange clothes and carrying an empty bird cage. The children fall back, a little afraid.

MAG: Did somebody address me?

BOY: Ad... dress you, sir?

MAG: (impatiently) Did somebody call me? Did somebody take my name?

GIRL: We... we were wishing for a magician, sir.

MAG: What do you want of me?

CHILDREN: You are a magician, sir?

MAG: What do you think I am? A wheelbarrow?

GIRL: Sorry, sir. We were not sure.

BOY: We have never seen a magician before.

BOY 2: You are very brilliant, sir.

MAG: (mollified) At least one of you has some sense. What is it you want of me?

GIRL: Can you turn something into something else sir?

MAG: Kindly make yourself clear, young woman. You may come first in your class but you sound remarkably like an idiot.

GIRL: (in a whisper) How does he know I come first in class?

BOY 2: (whispers) Because he’s a magician, stupid.

BOY: She means, sir, can you make one animal into another animal, sir.

MAG: Another confused idiot. Does nobody here have a working mind?

BOY 2: Can you turn an elephant into a small animal so that it can be a household pet?

MAG: At last, a glimmer of intelligence. Yes, young man, transformation of form is one of my many skills. I shall proceed to the mammal. You alone (points to BOY 2) come with me.

To be continued

From Good Heavens! One-Act Plays for Children;
By Poile Sengupta;
Publisher: Puffin