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The first arrest has been made
under the domestic violence act. But last week, with the
act barely out of Parliament, a group of men went slightly
wild. To protect the hallowed institution from the threat
of legalised terrorism by women, they launched
a protest group called Save the Indian Family. When anyone
who has been in touch with contemporary Indian culture knows
that nothing can save the Indian family since Rakhi Sawant
burst onto the scene and I will not dwell on the word burst
in this context.
A democracy has to allow for all
sorts of phenomena and their expression: Rakhi Sawant, Gandhiji
T-shirts following his rehabilitation through a film starring
a bomb blast accused, the possibility of Navjot Singh Sidhu
printing his complete works… So why should men who feel
that all women are potentially terrorists be stopped from
holding their protest march?
But I was just wondering what
made the men feel so threatened. There doesnt seem
to be much reason.
India is the world capital of
legislation — it loves to pass acts that will never be implemented.
Otherwise the act banning child labour would never have
been passed. Without children in our homes, tea stalls,
factories and red light areas, the economy will crumble
and all foreign journalists will go away.
The domestic violence act is very
welcome and it will be a shot in the arm for many women,
but I have a feeling that many more will never know about
it. I know a young woman who works as a cook at several
houses. She has two children. She was a bright student and
her parents — her father is a watchman — had high hopes
for her.
But she met a dashing young man
one day, the chief mason at a nearby building under construction,
and fell in love. True, he drank, but love is a great cure
for alcohol. So she gave up school to watch him slap the
cement on the freshly-laid bricks and never was watching
paint dry so much fun. She married him.
Now he doesnt work, drinks
and drinks and sometimes takes a break to beat her up. The
women who read the papers would probably have turned to
the law enforcement agencies in her situation, but it is
unlikely that she will.
The act, the men said, brought
into being by modern sadists and modern
Surpanakhas, would encourage terrorist activity by
women. Are the men worried about this girl?
The men can also take heart from
the areas covered by the act. It tries to map the crucial
areas of torture — marital rape and sexual, physical, verbal
and economic violence — and in that it is generous. But
it leaves out some notoriously unspoken facts about the
tortures of living with a man. They can lead to slow death
for the woman.
What happens when every day, after
a hectic time at the office, the woman comes and sees the
floor strewn with empty plastic bottles, which means that
not only she has to put them back, but also fill them with
filtered water? Then the wait at the filter? Then to find
that an empty pizza box is lying on the bed? To find that
the fan had not been switched off, though he left home later
and came back earlier? That the clothes are all to be folded,
while he watches the recap of how India lost because they
played Dhoni at number six? To feel too tired by the end
of dinner to give in to his wish — of watching a movie together?
To have to scream at him, though thats not how it
should have been at all? Day after day after day?
What is the name of this torture?
The Daily Grind? The Lazy Mind? The Thick Hind? Whatever
it is, it is again unlikely that many women, though living
through this, will report to the police the details of their
domestic lives.
Then what are the men so scared
of?
I think the secret is that it
takes very little to make men feel scared. Anything that
poses a threat to their control of the world makes them
tremble. Even the thought of a threat makes them scared.
Sometimes they invent the scare, a great big bogey, from
nothing, just to assert themselves. Like George Bush Jr.
and the Weapons of Mass Destruction.
It is probably no coincidence
that the men who formed the society see the women as terrorists,
modern sadists and modern Surpanakhas.
They could be talking about Weapons of Mass Destruction
too.
chandrima@abpmail.com
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