Minissha’s mother, Manju’s parents were both army doctors and she spent her formative years at the Lawrence School, Sanawar — a period, which she says, helped her become independent. After graduating in political science from Jesus and Mary College in Delhi, Manju took up interior designing. Presently she spends her time pursuing her love for painting. As she’s based in Kathmandu with her hotelier husband, Manju has also learnt the Tankha art form.

Minissha:

From an early age, my relationship with my mom was a very friendly one. I have memories of midnight sessions when just the two us would stay up chatting and sharing thoughts.

Early on, my mom helped inculcate a sense of independence in my brother, Karan and me — the independence to make one’s decisions and to choose the people we want to associate with.

I attribute much of my idyllic childhood to the fact that my parents never told me what to do. They’d put forth their views, and we’d think over them before arriving at our own decisions.

Now that I think about it, I don’t recall ever being spanked. My brother was the naughty one and we didn’t get along well when we were young. We used to fight a lot. Of course, my parents did their best to maintain the peace at home. In spite of all our differences, though, Karan and I are the best of friends now.

I believe all relationships have to have boundaries. My mom and I have our limits too. But we share the same ideologies and outlook on life. In fact, we share similar tastes when it comes to films and music.

The most important life lesson that I’ve learnt from my mother — which she’d learnt from her’s — is to be independent. Being self-reliant helps to establish one’s self worth. Besides, my mom has always been there for me — for the trivial things like what to wear to the life-changing decisions.

Now that my days are taken up wholly by films, I hardly get to spend time with my mom. But recently she came to Bangkok while I was there, shooting for Anthony Kaun Hai. We had great fun together. Yes, she usually looked away each time I gorged on street food like squid and worms, but we both had a blast.

I love to visit my parents in Kathmandu. I try to spend 15 days to a month with them there. Karan tries to make it too, so it’s like a reunion.

Manju:

The women in my family have always been financially independent. For instance, my mother was a gynaecologist. This doesn’t mean that we live apart from our husbands, but merely that we prefer not to be dependent on anyone. And from an early age, Minissha learned to be independent too.

When we were living in Srinagar, Minissha was in the twelfth standard. And after completing school, she travelled to Delhi on her own to try and get admission into a college there. She filled up all the requisite forms and did everything on her own.

Minissha was a balanced kid with occasional streaks of mischief and boisterous behaviour interspersed with quiet phases. Of course, there were days when she’d give me quite a fright. In Kashmir, Minissha and her friends would organise impromptu trips to places like Gulmarg. And often we wouldn’t know their exact location. Naturally then, against the backdrop of militancy, this would make us jittery.

Recently, Minissha came to Kathmandu for a break and insisted on bungee-jumping from a place famed as the second highest bungee-jumping spot in the world. From the jumping station, a person, say about 175m below, looks like an ant. To add to my dread, there were huge rocks and a gushing river below. Yet Minissha insisted on going ahead with it, even when her friends shied away. But then again, that’s Minissha for you — always craving some adventure.

When Minissha said she was contemplating a career in Bollywood, I was apprehensive as this was alien territory to us. I even consulted a clairvoyant who assured me that it was her destiny to become an actress. I guess everything is mapped out in our lives, and we should accept it, even though it’s hard at first.

Even though Minissha is living on her own in Mumbai, she has her head firmly screwed on to her shoulders. I’m proud of the open relationship that we share. If there’s anything that I hear or read about her, I just have to ask her and I’ll get the real story.