(From top): A Kundalini meditation session at the Osho Auditorium; a statue of Osho in the Zen Garden; the “Beloveds” find themselves in meditation; instructor Yogendra ( in black) leads inmates at a chi kung session; a 12-year-old ashram inmate learns Zen Archery

If you are a terminally jaded, chronically stressed, over-worked urban drone, suffering from the ‘something-missing-in-life’ syndrome, well then, you’re just the perfect candidate for a vacation at the Osho Meditation Commune in Pune — India’s first and only Boutique Ashram. It is now called the Osho Meditation Resort and sells Club Med (-itation!) style spiritual vacations. All you need to do is book over the Internet and check in with your pet angst, for an Executive Class mind-body trip.

The Osho Commune in its new avatar is best described as a spa for the soul. Which is not to say that the body does not get its share of indulgence. It’s all about ‘wellness’ — that tiresome new buzzword. It’s an up-market mind-body retreat, designed to de-stress, entertain, liberate and pamper. There’s an Olympic sized swimming pool, jacuzzi, massage, sauna, gym, tennis (called Zen-nis here), movies, moonlight parties, creative cuisine…

As for the meditation sessions themselves — it’s a Super Mall for the soul. There is an extensive, very catholic range that has everything from ancient Vedic, to Sufi, to New Age, to lunatic fringe. Therapies too are eclectic — the orthodox, the bizarre and the utterly sexy. There are Tarot readers, past-life therapists, Reiki masters, primal deconditioners, shamans and hypnotists, all supported by excellent infrastructure and facilities. A sort of international Spiritual University cum luxury resort. Osho never did conform to anything, not even to non-conformism. Why settle for one answer when you can have 20? Why be one thing when you can redefine yourself every six months? If that confuses you, then you’d find yourself fitting perfectly into this blithely confused, but apparently very happy community.

Osho said, “I want this place to be a paradise. Swimming pools, gardens — a place where you can play your instruments anywhere, anytime… just do your own thing. I have created the space here. Now how you use it, depends on you.”

The Resort is a beautiful 40-acre oasis of marbled walkways and cool sun-dappled groves set against a background score of splashing waterfalls. The architecture is extravagant and dramatic. The magnum opus is a soaring 85-foot black pyramid flanked by an expanse of water. This is the main auditorium with an 18,000 sq foot floor space where many of the meditations take place. All around is the gentle ebb and flow of good-looking people in maroon robes. Handsome Nordic gods in elegant lama gear, long-tressed blondes wearing beatific expressions, miniature Japanese beauties with flowers in their hair, bearded Israeli hunks. There are a hundred different nationalities here, predominantly young and good-looking. Everybody wears maroon — there are halter-necks, spaghetti-straps, bias cuts, empire cuts, kaftans — a ramp show of maroon fashions. You can choose one for yourself from the on-site boutique.

Beside the enormous tree-shaded pool, sanyasins in maroon thongs and little else, lounge in deck-chairs, having profound conversations as they sip tall, cool, de-toxifying health drinks.

Expressions are relaxed and gentle, there are no raised voices. Under huge spreading trees with clever concealed white lights that give the effect of filtered moonlight, the Beloveds (as they are called here) lounge in a stone-paved café, chatting and laughing softly while a waterfall plays the background score. Visually it’s an idealised, Elysian world, like a New Age vision.

Everything is spotlessly clean, and hygienic to the point of paranoia. The 60-room Osho Guest House is a silent, temperature-controlled environment with hidden sensor lights and minimalist décor. It is staffed by volunteers on a ‘Work as Meditation’ programme, so soft-spoken and courteous as to put trained hotel personnel to shame.

The next day, I follow the sound of thumping music, and stumble upon what appears to be a dance party at high noon. On a vast, circular marble platform shaded by giant, arching bamboos, are a crowd of people swinging, whirling, jiving. A white-haired old lady skips and prances like a little girl.

I settle down to watch, and feel something inside me thaw — perhaps at the simple innocence of these celebrants in the noonday sun. A closer look reveals that it isn’t really a party. People are not dancing with each other; it appears almost as though each is hearing a different music. People arrive and leave alone. Together, yet solitary.

The architecture is eclectic. Some structures are soft and traditional, with carved wooden verandahs and mossy tiled roofs. Some are bold neo-classical statements like the Black Pyramid, some are simply functionalist like the two restaurants. The large, curving tree-lined pool is strictly Hollywood. All evidence of unsightly nitty-gritty like pipes, vents and exhausts are hidden away behind ingeniously designed screens. Seen as a whole, the thrown- together feel of the Resort is an expression of the random, free-wheeling, definition- defying spirit of Osho.

The Meditation Resort is best described as a beautiful bubble environment that seals out all the uncomfortable realities of the outside world. Thus shielded, you may tune into an inner world. It is the one place you can go to focus entirely and guiltlessly on yourself — in fact you will be therapeutically assisted in surrendering to self-love. It’s the place you’re likely to meet someone special — you.

For more information call: Osho Guesthouse at: +91 20 5601 9900 / +91 20 5601 9911 (24 hours a day). E-mail: guesthouse@osho.com

Photographs by Amit Pasricha

Fact file

• Programmes range from one-day events to three-month professional training courses.

nSubjects included are Auro-Soma, Body Work, Breath Centering and Awareness, Esoteric and Subtle Bodies, Hypnosis, Love and Relationships, Osho Neo Reiki, Pulsation-Reichian Bioenergy, Transformative Therapy and Kobido massage.

• A Wellness Package offers a three-day stay at the Osho International Meditation Resort, an on-site five-star Zen-style guesthouse. Elegant eating areas serve nutritious, vegetarian Indian food besides gourmet dishes from around the world. There are morning classes in Buddha Grove and the daily Osho Active Meditation sessions in the Osho Auditorium. After the evening meditation, there are weekly dance parties, movie nights, and variety shows.

For an additional payment, you can enjoy an array of individual sessions covering all types of therapy practices like massage, astrology and other courses from the Multiversity.

Cost: Rs. 6,500 (single), Rs 9,500 (couple) for National; Rs. 7,800 (single), Rs 12,200 (couple) for International.

• Another package is the Fast Track to Yourself programme that includes everything offered in the Wellness Package as well as a one-day Multiversity Course, which changes each week.

Cost: Rs. 9,300 (single), Rs 15,600 (couple) for National; Rs. 10,500 (single), Rs 18,000 (couple) for International.