For those of you waiting to hear the news that Paris Hilton’s musical sortie is a ceremonial dud — no such luck on that one; sorry guys. Paris Hilton is burning all right. She has been packaged like RDX and it won’t be too long when the dust settles down and we’d have another plastic pop diva joining the superstar bandwagon. It will be easy dismantling Paris as well, but on different grounds. Some of the songs are catchy enough to storm the charts like a torrent in high noon, but the fact that they have been tactically produced takes most of the steam away. The producers have left no stone unturned and proved that just about anyone in the world can become a popstar — all it needs is the right kind of backing. And what better backing than that of the vast Hilton empire. And that of the ghost of the Rick Solomon episode. And that of the other guy on her other sex tape. That’s a lot of backing for Ms Hilton. Is anyone else getting behind her now?

The fact that all Paris has had to do is get in front of the microphone and spill out her beans, makes the computer the real star on the album. It is common knowledge now that her voice was tweaked to popstar level and it has all worked so fantastically that we have been made to look like knowledgeable fools. Some of the songs in the album hold that kind of credibility. So it is up to the listeners whether they want to sabotage the forcefully created vibes or they want to forget about ethics and take it to the dance floor.

The real love for music is a thing of the past in any case, and rock is hardly the order of the day anymore. So what the heck? Just groove to the moves of Paris Hilton — the newest Britney Spears on the music scene.

The album begins with the chunky dance floor beats of Turn it up, and we instantly know the intention is to create a club-oriented chart-topper, with a lot of scope for a spicy follow-up video. She teams up with Fat Joe and Jadakiss for Fightin’ over me and we know that the hip hop is right in place. Then we have Stars are blind and we know that the commerce is right in place. Someone like Christina Aguilera would be truly proud of this song, for it has just the right amount of packaged ooze that’s required from such dolly-faced stars to create seasonal hits. A string of sugarcoated pop songs follow and there are a few gems thrown in between — like the sparkling Nothing in this world (Kylie Minogue would have been proud of this one) and the delightful club thumper, Screwed (so very Madonna-like). In fact, the computer makes Paris sound like a lot of people which can, in the long run prove suicidal.

Whether Paris the popstar will die a natural death is something that only time will tell, but right now, yet another ‘impopster’ is surely on the rise.