Sob story

Sir ? After reading the report, ?America?s desperate Indian wives? (Oct 4), I couldn?t help chuckling to myself. Parents nearly salivate at the thought of marrying off their daughters to American HI-B visa-holders. Indeed, in some parts of India, having a son-in-law based in the United States of America is a sure way to climb the social ladder. All the women who married these so-called glamorous ?techies? did have the option of saying ?No? when such rishtas came around. The report mentions one Hanuma Samavedam, who even had an MBA. For someone like her who came to the US in 2000, there was enough opportunity to look at the internet and do her own findings about her status in America. If she were so inclined to work in the land of opportunities, she could have looked for such possibilities before tying the knot and riding on her husband?s coattails. But no. She gave in to blind prejudices, and the matching of horoscopes and family backgrounds before the match was ?fixed?. There can and should be no sympathy for educated women like her who do not see beyond the greenback when they tie the knot. Educated professionals owe it to themselves to think beyond horoscopes, movies and parties in the US. I am forced to say that all the women who told the lawyer Shivali Shah that they would ?work if they could? are lying. They have no such plans.

The report is important because it highlights certain practical issues that unmarried Indian women and their parents need to be aware of. I would also say that where there is a will there is a way, and Bindu Reddy, who does voluntary work in schools is a good example of that. Now how about a feature article on women who come to the US, not piggyback their husbands, but as independent persons? There are some such folk here too and their stories deserve to be told, if only to let people know that women can be independent wherever they are.

Yours faithfully,
Indrani Halder, US

Sir ? The report on the state of married Indian women in the US raises an important issue, but in an utterly half-hearted manner. In an arranged marriage set-up, grooms with H1-Bs are much-coveted and parents are often keen to get their daughters married to these men. The career of the woman involved is all but forgotten. Even the women buy this dream not knowing that a single income in the US, though not uncomfortable, can be terribly restrictive.

S. Mitra Kalita talks about visa restrictions and the tone of the report suggests that the onus for improving the lives of these women somehow lies with the US government. But that is not the case. It lies with the women. And some of them have resumed their education (as an US degree makes it easier to get a job) instead of feeling resentful and hurt. Unfortunately, for short-term visitors, this luxury does not exist. I would urge Indian women on the verge of signing that petition for H-4 visa to consider a long-distance relationship for their own sanity if they are clueless about their future career prospects in the US.

Yours faithfully,
Anyesha Mookherjee, Madison, US

Sir ? Do all the married women aspiring for a career in the US know what they are asking for? The moon perhaps. For a US, already smarting under the reality of outsourcing, with jobs taken over by IT professionals and techies like Hanuma Samavadan?s husband, and employment becoming a make-or-break issue in domestic elections, this can only mean bad news. What do the women think the US?s reaction will be to the pressure put on it by their agitation? Cosy jobs? Never. If they persist with their demands, they should also start preparing themselves to be turned back home ? lock, stock and barrel. And then they have to cope not only with their own failed career but also that of their husbands.

Yours faithfully,
M. Srinivasan, Calcutta

Sir ? The story of the desperate Indian housewives stranded in the US finally tells a pertinent truth that has always been hidden from public view by the wives themselves ? to prove that they are luckier and happier than all those who couldn?t make it ? and by their families ? who could never let go the opportunity to brag about their daughters? high-life before their neighbours. Even before the ?career? angle came in, Indian women, some from the remote corners of this country, have had to cope with the problem of isolation and loneliness in an intensely racial society like America?s suburbia. The unhappiness was compensated by the somewhat elevated standards of living in the US and the annual visits to desh, which was again time for much exhibitionism. If the truth is now hurting, it is because of our sudden realization that one need no longer go to the US to have some of the creature-comforts of life. And second because the information revolution has made sure that the ?reality? in the US is no longer invisible to those at the other end of the world.

If these women want to change their lives, and their husbands want to see their wives happy, they should seriously consider giving up their American dream.

Yours faithfully,
S. Sen, Calcutta

Sir ? Why can?t qualified Indian women work in the US? Such strictures don?t exist anywhere else in the world. It is time the US reconsidered its visa rules.

Yours faithfully,
Nritya Paul, Calcutta