Jaya Bachchan:

Apart from maintaining the most perfect home in Bollywood and looking after two of the biggest stars in Asia, Jaya is also the most meticulous phone person in the film industry. No message goes unnoticed. No call goes unreturned. Also, thanks to the Bachchans’ ever-efficient secretary Rosy Singh, no friend’s birthday is missed. Urmila recalls how pleasantly surprised she was when she received a call from Jaya on her birthday. “I didn’t know Abhishek’s and my birthday were separated by just a day. Jayaji pointed it out to me.”

Hema Malini:

She’s stunningly beautiful and incredibly outspoken. But she’s also very very lonely at heart. Although she doesn’t show it, this woman of substance truly misses a man’s presence in her life. “Though I love Dharamji very much it’s my misfortune that he hasn’t been with me to watch our daughters grow up, and to give me a company. So ‘yes’, I do miss a man by my side,” Hema once told me in an unguarded moment. “But then I’ve so much to keep me occupied. There’s hardly ever any time to feel lonely,” she cheered up the very next moment. But it’s a sobering thought: the dream girl of millions getting nightmares about ageing all alone.

Lata Mangeshkar:

She sings like an angel, right? You also know her second favourite passion in life is photography. But did you know Lataji loves a good joke? During my first meeting with her many years ago she had me in splits by describing a colleague as an ‘I Specialist’. That reminds me of her most historic rendezvous with humour. Long ago when composer Shankar (of Jaikishan fame) was busy promoting the atonal Sharda as ‘The Next Best Thing’ Lataji had succinctly said, “We had heard love is blind. We had never heard love was deaf as well.” Ear! Ear!

Simi Garewal:

A perfect hostess. One of the pleasures of visiting Mumbai is to have dinner with Simi and her lovely sister Amrita. They don’t only make you feel special they also serve the most appetising food. As for Simi she’s the best mimic in the world. Her takeoffs on?never mind...are so perfect even Never-Mind would be flummoxed. The Garewals don’t only serve fabulous food...they also serve food for thought.

Sushmita Sen:

The warmest gal I’ve ever met also has the shortest attention span I’ve encountered. One day Sushmita embraces you as though you’re her best friend. The next day she has a memory lapse, leaving you wondering if it’s something you’ve done. Or is it just one of those things that stars do to feel like stars? I haven’t a clue. Sushmita is also gentleness personified with her staff. Whether it’s her driver or the lady who comes to do her hair she’s solicitous and sensitive without being patronising. But if you want to see Sushmita at her best see her with her daughter Renee.

Shabana Azmi:

If there was a prize for the most private person in Bollywood it’d have to go to Shabana Azmi. No one knows the real Shabana. The public face isn’t a mask. It’s the way this brilliant woman sees life. In all the years that I’ve ‘known’ her the only time I’ve seen Shabana drop her defences was when years ago, her niece Tabu had accused Jackie Shroff of making a pass at her. “Sick, sick, sick!” the visibly upset and protective aunt had exclaimed. Whether she was making a comment on the moral underbelly of the specific incident or on the way sexual mores prevail in Bollywood, I never got to know. With Shabana you never question, you just accept her persuasive words. For some domestic reasons Shabana always loved Tabu, though there was never much love lost between Tabu’s elder sister Farah and Shabana.

Shah Rukh Khan:

One of the best minds in the film industry. And a very, very loyal friend. Ask his buddies like Karan Johar and Farah Khan. They would give their left arm for him, and probably throw in the right one too. SRK doesn’t demand, he commands that kind of loyalty. Though we share the same birthday I can’t claim to have him as a close buddy. But whenever we talk he warns me to make a clear demarcation line between my professional and personal interests in Bollywood. “Never make the mistake of believing any one of your star friends are going to stand by you if you’re in a crisis. Ultimately, all you have is your family and close friends,” he warns me. I may not qualify as a close friend. But check this out. When I took my daughter (the biggest SRK fan in the universe) to meet him, he treated her like his own child, sat her down next to him, spoke to her about school and friends, advised her about career options whenever she grows up, made her have lunch and insisted that a photo be clicked of them together. “But I don’t want your father in the picture,” he warned her. SRK insists he wants to have a heart-to-heart with me one of these days. “Just give me half an hour,” he requested the last time we spoke. “Why half, you can have one hour,” I retorted. “Nah, that would be too boring,” quipped the inimitable Khan. You can never have the last word with him.

Raveena Tandon:

A warm, bang-on pal?and the only heroine whom leading men were afraid to make a pass at. “It was very simple. Right from the start I became my leading men’s buddy. I remember only one incident where one of my leading men made a pass at me. I quickly shouted across the set, ‘Hey, guys, guess what he just said to me?’ That was the end of my hero’s fantasies. Kitne paas kitne crude,” she laughs loudly. Incidentally, she’s my only rakhi-sister in Bollywood with the prettiest baby I’ve ever seen.

Kareena Kapoor:

Wild, untameable, unpredictable? Sure, she’s all of that. But she’s also got a golden heart, that gorgeous girl. I will never forget how she landed up at the airport to meet me for the first time. The visual of her running towards me across the airport exit clutching the most beautiful bouquet of roses I had ever seen will remain with me as one of those montages that pass through the mind when Yamaraj does his number. Mercurial? Yes. But Kareena is one of her kind. She epitomises mercurial womanhood. But when you see her in love the glow on her face and the confidence in her gait are a sight to behold. When it comes to love Kareena becomes surprisingly submissive. None of the infamous Kapoor temper tantrums. See Shahid and Kareena together?and you’ll immediately know who’s in charge.

Amitabh Bachchan:

Everyone knows him to be this flawlessly well-behaved public person. Only his close friends know what a yaaron ka yaar he is. Some time back a Kannada filmmaker wanted Mr Bachchan to make a guest appearance as himself in a film. After having failed to get access, the anxious filmmaker asked me to help. AB not only readily agreed to do it, he also refused to charge a single penny for his precious time and attention. On the other hand, nothing can make AB do what he doesn’t want to. Some time ago this Bengali filmmaker from the US had nearly finalised AB for his second directorial venture. Then something happened. The desperate director even offered to change the script/producer/whatever to have his main lead on board. AB didn’t budge. “What can be said about the convictions of a man who’s willing to change everything in his creative vision for the sake of one actor? Thanks, but no thanks.” That’s what legends are all about. They know.

Arshad Warsi:

Terrific entertainer on screen. But did you know Arshad and his wife love to entertain guests in their home? The man who makes the world laugh also makes the best biryani in Bollywood. Fri-ends swear by Arshad’s culinary skills. But he isn’t doing that much cooking any longer. Free time goes into changing recently-born son Zeke’s nappies.

Akshay Kumar:

One of the biggest prank-sters in showbiz, he has on the phone impersonated everything from a Bihari politician seeking favours to an aspiring star wanting to be written about and has got me completely fooled. The ‘action man’ has the softest heart in the world. He must also be my touchiest star-friend. A careless line or a snappy, jokey snippet can put him in a deep sulk. Shooting in Canada right now, he’s I think, upset about something or the other. When I called him to wish him on his birthday he was neither his usual jokey self, nor was he curt. He was just?aloof. In other words, hurt.

Abhishek Bachchan:

On the sets he’s wacky, wild, jokey and uncontrollable. But under the veneer of prankishness Abhishek is fiercely sensitive and a loyal friend. The only time he has ever been cross was when I made fun of one of his director-pals for making an unwatchable flop. For a couple of days he refused to speak to me. “I’ve feelings, too, y’know,” he admonished me later. “The director might not be as successful as some of your filmmaker-friends. But he’s my friend. And that’s all that counts.” Says a lot about Abhishek’s sense of propriety and his undying loyalty to those he befriends.

Gulzar:

You know him as a poet, author and filmmaker. But did you know Gulzar the tennis player? For as long as one can remember the poet has been getting up from sleep at 4:30 am, getting into his tennis togs and leaving home for an invigorating two-hour game of tennis. Gulzar Saab’s tennis habit remains unbroken, unless he’s travelling out of Mumbai. “I think the secret of my good health is tennis,” confesses this avid sports fan who also loves cricket, though only as a spectator.

Rekha:

Doesn’t feel the heat, nor the cold! That’s right. Rekha doesn’t use the air-conditioner. She believes heat and cold are a state of the mind. She has anin-built temperature control.

Karan Johar:

Everyone knows Karan is the most clued-in director in the industry. But how does he manage to know everything that goes in the industry! If Karan was a journalist he’d put every scribe in the shade. He can hold forth for hours on the exact activities of everyone, and can even inform you about how to go about writing a review or framing a story. If he wasn’t a filmmaker Karan would have been a journalist for sure.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali:

My closest friend in Mumbai and also the most uproariously funny person I’ve ever met. Sanjay has taught me how to laugh out loud from somewhere deep down inside my throat. His sense of the comic is so sharp and visually alive he can paint prolonged pictures featuring immense comic details. A terrific raconteur with an unbeatable sense of satire, Sanjay, who according to me is the best filmmaker in the country, has yet to arrive at his forte in films. It’s farce. One day he’ll make a funny film. And people will have more tears rolling down their eyes than Khamoshi and Black put together.

Urmila Matondkar:

It’s hard to believe, but the most svelte actress in Bollywood with a perfect hour-glass figure is a diehard foodie! Yup, Urmila just loves to eat. Her meals are elaborate. And she can go on and on eating without pausing for breath. Strangely none of it ever shows on her. Even more strangely Urmila claims she has never done a day’s exercise! This denial of the obvious has become a standing joke between us. “I know you don’t believe me. But it’s the truth. I don’t exercise. I guess things just ‘work out’ for me, ha-ha.” Oh, did I tell you, Urmila is the third best mimic in the film industry (after Simi Garewal and Rekha). Her takeoff on Lataji and Ashaji would leave the two divas gasping for breath. It sure had that effect on me. Who else does Urmila impersonate? Ah, that would be telling!