Bollywood, give us:

Main Hoon Na: The adventures of Major Shah Rukh Khan and cool dude sidekick Zayed Khan, continued. In true sequel tradition, say goodbye to Amrita Rao. But please don’t let Sush go. Anu Malik, an encore please. Farah Khan, tum ho na?

Sarfarosh: One of the best thrillers made in Bollywood, this one certainly deserves a sequel. Put ACP Aamir Khan and trusted aide Inspector Mukesh Rishi onto another gripping case, and set an exciting trail that will take them to different parts of the country, or perhaps, even outside it. And we’d love to see Sonali Bendre back on screen again. But where on earth are you, John Matthew Mathan? Don’t mind, but we’re missing you!

Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron: Undoubtedly, Kundan Shah’s finest work and possibly the best satire made in Bollywood, we can never have enough of the mad, mad comedy of errors called Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron. Get that lovable, hapless twosome of Naseeruddin Shah and Ravi Baswani out of jail, and involve them in another crazy, intricate web of sinister dealings. Thankfully, most of the stellar ensemble cast is still alive. It’s difficult to think of someone who could take the place of the marvellous Bhakti Barve, but Shabana Azmi wouldn’t be a bad idea. Kundan Shah, what do you think of the title, Ab Chhodo Bhi Yaaron?

Golmaal: At a time when the crass is considered comic, and the Mastis and Kyaa Kool Hai Hums are reigning supreme at the box-office, one can’t help yearning for another helping of a good old wholesome comedy like Golmaal. Unfortunately though, the great Utpal Dutt is no more. But Boman Irani might be a good replacement. And Saif Ali Khan would be wonderful in Amol Palekar’s role. Add Paresh Rawal. Get them all together and cook up another Wodehouse-esque sequences of events. And Hrishida, since you are keeping unwell, would you object to Rajkumar Hirani?

Mr India: This one is really long overdue. If Mr India was a Hollywood film, there would have been at least three sequels by now. So, can we please have some more daredevil escapades of apna invisible Robin Hood, Anil Kapoor. And this time, with Sridevi in tow. What, after all, could be a better comeback vehicle for her? And please, don’t leave out Calendar. Shekhar Kapur, what do you say to Mr And Mrs India?

Bollywood, spare us:

Sins: Director Vinod Pande has announced not one, but two sequels to his titillating tale of a priest turned rapist! Lord, we confess that we have sinned, but what have we done to deserve this!

Sholay: Even if Bollywood ingenuity manages to resurrect Amitji, it just won’t happen. Dharam Praa’ji’s lost his touch completely. Sanjeev Thakur is no more. Jagdeep is no more. R. D. Burman is no more. So, Sholay no more. There just can’t be another Sholay without them. So just let it be.

Kaal: It ended on an ominously ambiguous note. But if there’s any more of Ajay Deadpan, with indecipherable shlokas playing in the background, it would be really Tragikaal.

Murder: The news is that the Bhatts and Mallika Sherawat have smooched (just once, we guess) and made up. And now the Bhatts are planning to get the Murder team together for a reload. Bhatt seriously, just because they got away with Murder the first time doesn’t mean that they can go on a homicidal spree!

Satya: Ramu’s a great director, at times, brilliant. But Satya be told, he’s a little eccentric. One never knows with him. He might suddenly think of doing a sequel to the wonderful, wonderful Satya, tracing the gang in the post-Satya era (calling it Bhikhu perhaps?). But please don’t! Satya’s perfect. A sequel might just ruin it.

Hollywood, give us:

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: It’s a wonder that this all-time favourite has not seen a sequel yet, although there’s been an eminently forgettable prequel called Butch and Sundance: The Early Years. But this is just the kind of film that would make for a smashing sequel. So c’mon guys, get cracking and shooting.

The Treasure Of the Sierra Madre: One of Humphrey Bogart’s best, this classic John Huston tale of gold and greed, certainly deserves a second instalment. Problem is, who can take the place of the legendary Humphrey Bogart?

The First Wives Club: A hilarious comedy about three embittered divorcees (played delightfully by Diane Keaton, Bette Middler and Goldie Hawn) who join forces to hex their exs, it’s difficult to fathom why The First Wives Club is still sequel-less. We just can’t wait to see some more furious women wreaking revenge on their errant husbands, with the help of the founding trio, of course.

The Mask: One of the funniest, cutest and most loved comicbook hero films, this is the real sequel stuff. So can we please, please have a proper sequel to The Mask, with the incredible Jim Carrey, instead of ridiculous excuses like The Son Of Mask?

There’s Something About Mary: Well, if super dumbos likes American Pie can get a sequel, then it’s high time that this bawdy, but immensely funny film gets a sequel, too.

Hollywood, spare us:

Rocky and Rambo: We implore you, if there are any more, we’ll forget our tables!

I Know What You Did Last Summer: And we know what you’ll have in the next film, so spare us the agony of any more sequels to ridiculous teen slasher films like I know?, Scream and Urban Legend.

Jaws: So what if the original Jaws is in the AFI’s list of top 100 movies, if there are any more after the horrendous Jaws IV, then we’ll gnash our teeth more than that killer shark!

Casablanca: Apparently, they’ve been threatening to make a sequel called Brazzaville (the capital of Congo) ever since this classic World War I movie released, and became a runaway success. Now, the latest is that they’re planning to cast Bruce Willis as Rick Blaine (immortalised by Humphrey Bogart). Eeeks!

Dude, Where’s My Car: The news is that they’re making a sequel called Seriously Dude, Where’s My Car. Please Lord, where’s the car, we wanna run over the dude.