During the Cultural Revolution, children were encouraged to inform the ?Red Guards? about their parents? ?anti-revolutionary? habits. And they did, with horrifying physical and emotional consequences for both parents and the children themselves.

That nightmare is long over. But today?s apolitical Chinese parents face traumas of no less magnitude.

In China, high school students ? those in Grades IX to XI, ? must live in school, except on weekends. These years are meant to prepare students, who have both the inclination and the money to study beyond the mandatory Grade IX, for university. For the current generation of single children, most of them spoilt darlings of middle-class parents, this first experience of living on their own is often more than they can handle.

The parents of one such child are now on the verge of a breakdown; the child has turned violent and is locked up. The worst thing is that this isn?t an isolated incident.

Secret affairs

This story took place in one of China?s small cities, but could belong to any of India?s cities. The 15-year-old girl had a secret boyfriend. The parents, both of them working, discovered this in the worst way possible: when the school called them to ask where she was. After the weekend at home, she hadn?t turned up in school.

Totally at a loss as to where she could be, the parents informed the police. Before they could trace her, the girl returned home: it was an unusually cold winter, and even the warmth of a clandestine affair wasn?t enough. She just had to have more warm clothes.

The school refused to take her back; the parents refused to let her out of the house. Confined to her room, she turned violent ? slashing drapings, throwing bric a brac, cutting wires. The parents took her to a counsellor but didn?t go in for counselling themselves. Today, the mother hates coming home from work, and wonders whether it?s worthwhile holding on to her daughter by force.

At the crux of the problem is the total non-communication between parents and children on sex. Even teachers shy away from the topic. Zhou En Lai had advocated sex education in schools 40 years ago, but it has only been introduced three years ago from Grade VII, and is reportedly restricted to anatomical knowledge and moral advice.

Better late

Not exactly what kids have in mind, as two 17-year-olds in Beijing discovered in their own survey of high school students conducted in 2002. Not one student was satisfied with what passed for sex education. More significantly, 70 per cent of them thought pre-marital sex was okay.

Teenagers in uniform cooing at bus stops is a common sight. One middle school teacher created a furore when she allowed two of her students, reportedly ?in love?, to sit together in class; they would be less distracted and hence study better, she reasoned.

But parents are not so sure. Dating at 15? They ask incredulously. The Grade IX exam is like our board?s; nothing, not even conversation between parents, is supposed to distract the student. Middle schools prefer that students come back to school after dinner in the months just before the exam.

Pressure of academics apart, parents worry about the kind of boys their daughters want to date. Classmates might be the least problematic, but also the last choice. Today?s role models are TV stars and pop singers. Even most of China?s Olympic stars end up as top models. They, of course, are inaccessible; it?s the wannabes at karaoke bars and discos that girls end up dating. Cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are common in these places, so is the presence of gangs.

Another Cultural Revolution, another set of nightmares.