swept away: A bereaved victim of the tsunami in Chennai (Photo: Reuters)

Sachin Hijari had never gone against his parents? wishes in all his 30 years. The senior Hijaris wanted their son to live with them in home-town Hubli, in Karnataka. Sachin agreed. He studied in Hubli and opened a medical store there. Once his two elder siblings were suitably married off, his parents began looking for a homemaking Kannada wife for him. Life was moving predictably and smoothly.

The December tsunami shook the status quo in the Hijari household. Like everyone, the Hijaris had watched in horror the death and despair that the sea waves had wreaked. The television pictures and sound bytes struck a deep chord in Sachin. ?Maybe because the mayhem had happened so close to home,? he reasons. When Sachin read about an Indian Red Cross Society (IRCS) helpline ? set up to facilitate donations and adoption of orphaned children ? he called in with an unusual request. He wanted to marry a woman who had lost her family to the tsunami. ?I wanted to give a woman a new life,? he says.

Sachin Hijari has like-minded company. The Karnataka branch of the IRCS has received 20 calls from men wishing to marry women who have lost all to the tsunami. These philanthropic grooms range from young bachelors to middle- aged widowers. ?They come from well-settled, middle- class families,? says Raju Chandrashekhar, relief operations in-charge of the Karnataka branch of the IRCS.The matrimonial proposals took the Red Cross Society by surprise. ?We did not anticipate such calls,? says Chandrashekhar. The Society is now figuring out how to handle this breed of do-gooders. What if it?s just a case of immediate pity overwhelming long-term rationale? To counter such a possibility, the Red Cross has adopted a wait-and-watch policy. ?We plan to go super slow. The test of patience will be a deciding factor,? says Chandrashekhar. The IRCS will check the background, motives and enthusiasm of the husbands-to-be.

The IRCS had some bad experiences while giving orphan children for adoption. ?We found that some people who adopted young girls were making them work as domestic servants,? says Chandrashekhar. The IRCS did not want any repeat performance in the case of the women victims of the tsunami.

Never mind the wait, Sachin is sticking to his guns. ?I?m determined to marry a tsunami victim,? he says. The only hitch he faced were his parents, who were taken aback by his unconventional decision. They had been enthusiastically bride-hunting for Sachin ? scanning through the bio-datas and photographs pouring in and stocking up on Kanjeevaram saris for the bride-to-be.

The tsunami crushed their plans. ?They vetoed my matrimonial plans idea outright,? remembers Sachin. He then applied every trick in the trade ? right from emotional blackmail and sulking sprees to talk on wanting to do something for the needy ? to get their go-ahead. ?They came round after a lot of persuasion,? says Sachin.

Hari Prasad faced no family friction when he decided to marry a tsunami victim. The 58-year-old widower lives alone in Bangalore. His son and daughter are married and lead their own lives. ?I have no one to come home to,? says the retired Indian Air Force officer, who now works for a private firm in the city.

Prasad has been in and out of depression ever since his wife died, three years ago. He consulted a psychologist, who suggested that he re-marry. Prasad liked the idea.

The tsunami and the visit to the psychologist happened simultaneously. Prasad read about people adopting orphan children and giving them a new family. ?That gave me the idea of marrying a victim and giving her a new family,? he says. Prasad has got the gives-and-takes worked out ? ?I can offer financial security. In return I get companionship,? he says.

Prasad, Sachin and 18 other philanthropic grooms-to-be are waiting for the Red Cross to revert to them. But marriage is the last thing on the minds of the victim women, says Chandrashekhar. ?The women need counselling and psychological support more than a new husband and home. They have to overcome the trauma of loss,? he says.

The IRCS is making no mention of marriage to the women as yet. Currently, the Red Cross team, comprising social workers and psychologists, is helping the women cope with the loss of family and friends. ?Once this is done, we will place the option of marriage before them,? says Chandrashekhar.

The IRCS plans to strictly toe the official line. It will notify all the concerned deputy collectors before finalising any wedding plans. ?Marriage into a wrong family will mean a double disaster for a woman,? says Chandrashekhar.

Meanwhile, Prasad is patiently waiting for the legal rigmarole to get over. ?I?m in no hurry. People my age don?t find life partners easily,? he says. While the wait is on, he is weaving dreams of finding a new companion, helping out a woman in distress and living happily ever after.