Plan of action

If the people of Bihar want ?total revolution?, so be it. All the parties have their contingency plans ready, in case needed, to completely change the face of the Bihar chief minister (and go for a thick-bearded look, that is). First the RJD?s. If the figures don?t add up, Laloo Yadav is ready to give it back to the Congress and the LJP. The chief, reportedly, has already got in touch with Nitish Kumar and offered him the post of the CM if the RJD didn?t win. Nitish, who is likely to get the highest number of seats after Laloo, would then quit the NDA and, with the RJD, form the minus-Congress, minus-LJP, minus-BJP government. The brainstorming in the northern citadel has produced a similarly startling solution. The Congress president has apparently thought of a formula (if the RJD didn?t have the magic 122) to send Laloo back to Bihar in place of Rabri to run the coalition and give Ram Vilas Paswan the prized portfolio of railways. There is another one ready. Paswan may be coaxed to accept the RJD with its limitations, and for this Sonia apparently is banking on a neighbour ? Paswan?s wife. The Paswans are Sonia?s next door neighbour and Lady Paswan, who is said to be her husband?s closest political advisor, is supposedly a great admirer of Sonia. So Rabri or not, flower power it?ll be.

In black and white

A slightly different power game in Haryana, where the Congress is sure of a win. The old guard, led by Arjun Singh, Natwar Singh and others, are pitching for Chaudhary Birendra Singh as CM. Ahmad Patel is apparently pushing for the Dalit youngster, Shailja, as a show of madam?s commitment to women?s empowerment. But since the other such display, Sheila Dixit, will be too close for comfort, the idea hasn?t caught on. Ambika Soni, desperate to regain her hold, is backing Bhoopinder Singh Hooda. There is also Bhajan Lal, the old war horse, who has decided to show his support on paper ? he has collected signatures from 30 MLAs to prove his support. And the struggle goes on...

Sweet success

The Congress is so confident of a win in Haryana that a candidate, Lachma Das Arora, recently landed up in the AICC with a Qualis full of ladoos. From small fry to big, netas to security guards, all got one packet. Journalists also had the sweets thrust down their throat. One dared to ask, ?What is this for?? Arora?s victory, he was told. But the results were yet to come in. ?How does that matter?? someone said. There was an explanation ? since post-victory no one would have the time to receive ladoos from Arora, he was doing the job in advance (and get noticed?).

Better without a head

Now with Girija Vyas gone, the Congress?s media cell is completely at the mercy of the media secretary, Tom Vaddakkan, who has been a constant fixture for a decade despite a frequent change of heads. There was some talk of this Malayali being made the vice-chairperson of the minority commission, but it ended no sooner than it had begun. Apparently, 10 Janpath had been warned against putting a Christian in the position for the fear of creating bad publicity. Vadakkan, it is heard, is meanwhile making the most of a headless department.

Left on their own

There is much consternation in the higher echelons of the bureaucracy at the failure of the PM and his two chief aides to protect honest officers from the claws of venal ministers. The case in point is the tourism secretary, Uma Pillai. Months before she was ordered out by a bullying boss, both the PM?s aides were duly posted about the sordid goings on. Both apparently made their own inquiries and found out about the veracity of the allegations. Yet they allowed Pillai to be packed off to a relatively minor department in the ministry of health. Babus beware!

Promising start

After P Chidambaram?s son made his debut in politics, there was PA Sangma?s son, Conrad. Sangma, who reviled the dynastic politics of the Nehru-Gandhis, saw nothing wrong in the induction. In fact, he supposedly told a scribe that masses needed to be given ?promising leaders?. However, Sangma Jr, who contested the byelection in the Selsella constituency of Meghalaya, has lost. So much for promises.

Strip tease

Actor Shilpa Shetty, who sees nothing wrong in stripping to save animals, has apparently said that she is still ?too young? for the act. Another painful wait for bounty.

Give and take

What is an elephant race to a chief minister? Well, plenty, if the winner happens to be a pachyderm that was donated by the temporal head of a state and deeply involved in the rise and fall of her fortunes. We are talking of Amma and Krishna, the elephant whose recent win prompted her to order tonnes of jaggery and bananas for a feast. Krishna was donated by her to the Guruvayoor temple, the place where the race took place, in 2001 to thank the deity for her electoral victory that year. The happiness did not last long as an adverse court order forced her to quit high office. Jayalalithaa immediately sought the advice of priests and astrologers, who frantically sought an answer and found it in her failing to pay the monthly maintenance allowance she had promised to pay for Krishna during the donation. The expenses were calculated in terms of the elephant?s age and a generous donation quickly made. Things have been smooth since then.