All the serials are getting so hyper?gosh! I need a wiper for my tear ducts. Gallons are shed in Zee?s Piya Ka Ghar, where the all-sacrificing Rimjhim (which means a drizzle, no ?fun? intended) was kidnapped by her own husband. Then she jumped in the way of a bullet meant for her wicked husband, and blood poured out with oozy splendour. Blood and tears?ooh, what a deadly combination! I look for the serials that offer a dry thrill. That?s why Zee?s Kareena Kareena seems so welcome. No one cries in this one. No one has the time to. Everyone is busy masquerading. It?s like one of Shakespeare?s comedies without that whirling sense of wonderment that makes Shakespeare such a dizzyingly delightful experience. Another funny one is Mere Samne Wali Khidki on Star One where Archana Puransingh and Akshay Anand play a goofy couple. They generally fight about nothing and try to make faces into the camera without each other?s knowledge. Wish they?d spare us their facial gymnastics. The only really funny serial on TV continues to be Zee?s Kabhi Han Kabhie Na. That whole episode where the boss (Mihir Mishra) follows his secretary to a restaurant to be confronted by a cocky waiter reminded me of Ram Gopal Varma?s Rangeela.

The talent hunt continues. I saw Sahara One?s Mr & Mrs Bollywood on Sunday where Sajid Khan and Mandira Bedi were hosts to another bevy of eager faces. Sajid teased the contestants mercilessly, flirted with the girls and heckled the boys. One contestant, Bhavna Pani, was asked what her name meant. ?Emotional water,? came the prompt poker-faced reply. Incidentally, Ms Pani must be joking about being a Bollywood hopeful. She has already appeared in a full-fledged role in a film called Dil Vil Pyar Vyar. If she thought no one would recognise her, she had better start planning another way to re-enter Bollywood.

A potentially promising discussion on Sab TV?s Kuch Dil Se was turned sour by anchor Smriti Irani?s constant interruptions. The subject was the anti-Sikh riots of 1984. The subject: a casualty of the riots named Darshan Kaur. She managed to say she remembered the politician H.K.L Bhagat supervising the carnage in 1984. Our Saas jo kabhi bahu thi, Tulsi stood there in a flaming-orange sari looking as if she had arrived for a wedding rather than a tragic yaadon ki baraat.