Passage to England

This is the third time I have seen A Passage to India, the stage adaptation of E.M. Forster's 1924 novel by the Shared Experience theatre company. That should say everything about how much I have enjoyed this play.

This is with a new cast but the production is as wonderful as ever. The play?s director, Nancy Meckler, says the British Council has taken Shared Experience productions to India twice before, which is why a request to take A Passage to India to India has been turned down.

I know the British Council has to give other companies a chance but perhaps it could make this one exception with A Passage to India. I would love to know what the people of India (i.e. my friends and relatives) would make of it.

In an early draft of his novel, Forster made Dr Aziz guilty of the rape of Adela Quested in the famous Marabar Caves. Later, he made him not guilty, deciding that Adela's senses had been so assaulted by India that the highly impressionable young woman had suffered from hallucinations.

What this play highlights, caricatures almost, are the racist ways of the imperialist Brits in India. In a court scene, a prosecutor says that ?the darker races are attracted to the fairer races but not the other way round?.

They are unsympathetic to Adela?s quest to see the ?real India?, preferring to live cocooned in their own clubs and transplanted English culture.

Following our own passage to England, aren?t some of us doing much the same in this country? Don?t many of us shut out ?the real England? as we go almost exclusively to Indian weddings, Indian clubs, Indian restaurants, Indian balls, Indian films, Indian birthday parties, Indian plays, Indian melas, Indian shops and increasingly Indian funerals at Golders Green cemetery?

It really is a pity that so many of us continue to live in this romantic and exotic country without ever making the effort to discover England.

Bye, Hello!

What possessed Imran Khan, who has always been conscious of his status, to open his heart to Hello! about why his marriage to Jemima went wrong?

I assume he was well paid ? I hope he got, at least, ?100,000 ? but for the man who wants to succeed President Musharraf, a ?celebrity? magazine like Hello! was simply the wrong vehicle.

The divorce was Islamic, he confirms. ?We divorced the same way we married ? in a simple Islamic ceremony. It took place in London in front of two witnesses. According to Islamic law there is a 90-day period in which to change your mind before it becomes final. That period has now elapsed.?

Imran poses at his home in Pakistan against the background of swords and portraits of men in fierce beards. The decor could pass for the entrance of any expensive Pakistani restaurant in London. He sits alone by a double bed, neat but empty, alas. Hello! has rubbed salt into his wound by including a picture of Jemima cuddling up to Hugh Grant, her new lover boy.

Imran claims (through gritted teeth?) that if Jemima were to marry Grant, ?I would wish her the greatest happiness. She must make her own choices in life.?

Asked if Jemima will continue to practise Islam ? Fleet Street women commentators have gleefully noted the alacrity with which she has ditched the salwar kameez ? Imran can only say, ?Jemima converted completely of her own accord. There was no compulsion for her to do so, so whatever she decides to do on that issue is her business... We decided the children would be Muslim and they are being brought up accordingly.? He hopes they will be ?bi-cultural?.

It is hard not to feel sorry for Imran who will now see Sulaiman, seven, and Qasi, five, either on his trips to London or when his sons go to Pakistan for holiday. I believe Imran when he says: ?Fatherhood has been the most profoundly enriching experience of my life. I have been a completely hands-on father and they have brought me the greatest happiness. We are extremely close. I put them to bed.?

One can sense the irony as he admits: ?They are not very interested in cricket ? they get bored with it. In fact, the younger one told his class I was a footballer.?

D-Day

After a screening of the 1957 version of Devdas at the National Film Theatre in London on Tuesday, its star, Dilip Kumar, now 82, will do an “in conversation” on stage with Lord Meghnad Desai. This will launch the season of Dilip Kumar films at the NFT.

Meghnad is being uncommonly civil to the curmudgeonly old actor who would not see him when His Lordship was in Mumbai to gather material for his book, Nehru's Hero: Dilip Kumar in the Life of India.

Meghnad was in India again last week for a preparatory chat with the actor. ?He?s one of my heroes,? gushes Meghnad. ?I'm going to show a lot of clips from his films.?

Saira Banu is also coming with her husband. She should try and catch Bride & Prejudice. In one movie-within-a-movie scene, Gurinder Chadha indulges herself by showing an audience at the NFT watching one of the director's favourite films, Purab aur Paschim. Its star back in 1970 was none other than Saira Banu.

Having a ball

The Indian glitterati in London love dressing up and going to balls at fancy hotels such as the Hilton in Park Lane. There was even a fashion show put on by Suneet Varma. But for once, the cause was good.

The evening, organised by a charity called Pratham, raised over ?215,000, which will go towards educating poor children in India. Its aim is that by 2010 ?every child should be at school?.

Waheeda Rehman, a Pratham ambassador, revealed that when she first entered films, she was urged to adopt a sexier name ?like Madhubala or Meena Kumari? but she argued that ?Waheeda is the name my parents gave and I?m not going to change it ? but you can call me Waheeda?.

During the auction, the chance to have dinner with Hrithik Roshan raised ?15,000. It was the same for a round of golf with Vijay Singh. But a round with Kapil Dev went for ?3,000. If you paid him more, he would lose, remarked a wit with a bad taste in jokes.

Tittle tattle

Gordon Brown said something very important last week. In fact, he gave the game away.

The man, who would be Prime Minister if Tony Blair fell under the London equivalent of the 2B bus, said at the Labour Party conference last week that Britain ?can be the global success story of future years? but for that to happen, the country ?must respond to the global economic challenge of countries like China and India?.

Challenge?

I take this to mean that Britain will continue to work closely with India as a partner but its rise to possible economic superpower status will be viewed in London with a certain amount of wariness.