Meet our party-crawl crown couple, Akash and Nisha. He’s 24, with a family business to run; she’s 23, a student of fashion design. Their common loves: scuba-diving in the clear waters of Seychelles when on holiday, and diving deep into the dark zones of Calcutta nightlife when not on holiday.

Saturday night fever is what the couple (not to be mixed up with John Abraham and Tapur Chatterjee, in pix right, please) lives for through the week. Here we hop into the couple’s Hyundai Terrecan, on a normal Saturday night out. (Statutory warning: it could be injurious to the health of the sleepy, the staid and the stingy!)

First stop, at 11.30 pm, C9 (Astor’s resto-bar Cloud 9). Nisha loves the kebabs and the white wine and Akash nurses his beer (in the plural). By the time the customary calls are made to the gang to join them at Shisha, it’s 12.30 am, the chill bill has touched Rs 1,500 and the fun has just begun.

Next, Shisha the hookah bar. “Give me my usual,” says Akash, which means beer and jasmine-flavoured hookah, while Nisha prefers pineapple. Swaying to Bin Tere Sanam, lounging on the gaddas, sipping Sultan’s Tea and munching some Lebanese salad… The clock says 1.30 am, the chill bill reads Rs 1,900 and Tantra – their firm favourite – beckons.

The Bodhi Bar is the meeting point for mates old and new. A few B52s and Mojitos and the typical trance tracks are the high points. Chill bill: Rs 1,400.

Off they go to Winning Streak, the sports bar at HHI, to play some pool. The floor is full, the music hard and thumping. Chill bill: Rs 1,400.

Finally, a toss-up between a long drive to Dublin or a hop over to Sharma dhaba for “masala tea”. It’s close to 4 am and Ballygunge Circular Road scores over the Bypass. Chill bill: Rs 20.

Time to head home. The Saturday night spend-sheet reads Rs 6,220 (plus petrol and constant cellphone calls), lots of sweat on the dance floor, five hours of frenzied fun…

And you thought Calcutta wasn’t happening?