Q: I am a 26-year-old woman from the small town of Asansol who moved to Calcutta a few months ago after marriage. Ours was a love marriage and my husband comes from a very rich and well-known family. We often have to go for big parties and rub shoulders with celebrities and other big names. I’m not really comfortable doing this as I’m rather reserved by nature and end up feeling like a social misfit. At the same time, I’m aware that I have married into this and just can’t stop attending any and every social function. Do you have any tips or suggestions to help me feel more comfortable with my situation? Please advise.

S.K., Ballygunge

A: First of all, you should try and get rid of this small-town-girl complex. It’s not important where you grew up, but what kind of person you are. People you meet at parties are not really interested in knowing where you came from but rather in where you are going. So, brush that chip off that shoulder and start socialising with a vengeance.

Yes, I know, it is easier said than done, especially for somebody who is shy and reserved by nature. Which is why it is best to start small. For the first month or so, ask your husband to stick close to you and introduce you to as many people as possible. Make the usual small talk, ask lots of questions, listen intently while maintaining eye contact and before you know it, you will have the reputation of a really interesting conversationalist. Remember, it’s not what you say that matters, but how you listen. Most people are dying to talk — especially about themselves — and all you have to do is nod along and make the right noises.

Once you have made a few friends with this modus operandi, you can move away from your husband’s ambit and strike out on your own. The next step is to increase the number of friends you make at parties and before you know it, you won’t find an unfamiliar face no matter how hard you look.